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I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

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Chapter 2-: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun! PART B

Post by 3ternallove on 8/1/2010, 9:22 pm

*********************


Yoochun expected the day to pass him slowly but he was wrong. He was scared to go back to that place. Too frightened to go back to that home him, his father and his mother once lived happily in. That place was definitely burnt down but because of the order from these “higher ups”, no one dared to touch the house, not even step on the land or the street. Everyone was evacuated the next day and the government just gave money for the families to start over. At first he didn’t know what or why everyone left the next day but now, as he grew up, he started to understand.

Just for the sake of reputation, all of this was hidden. Just for the sake of this pride of the Kim’s, he was cast aside with that huge hospital debt when he was just ten years old. He definitely owes Changmin one. If he hadn’t met him in the hospital, he would be sleeping on the streets now trying to make enough money just to get by day by day. That was definitely the first time he felt loved ever since his mother died. Changmin loved him and that’s all he knew.

But of course all this time that burnt down home remained unchanged as if it was just stuck in time—not able to move on.

If Junsu only has a temporary memory loss then certain environments from the past may
be able to trigger those things he can’t remember. And so if the only thing that links them together would be this house, showing him that place might knock in those important memories he’s missing.

So he can’t chicken out now just because of his useless feelings. Junsu was able to place everything in the line to fight for this love he told him, so even Park Yoochun can accomplish a small thing like this. Hopefully this small thing that he can do can go a long way.

This type of change in routine might be good for him too.

************

Park Yoochun waited at the gates of the school. Maybe he should have picked up Junsu on the way here. Even after that clothing incident in the gym lockers, that Kim Junsu actually cried. Who knew it only took a blind fold to make a God cry?

Thinking about that incident made him worry some more. This morning, everything did calm down, thank goodness for weekends. But there were still those stares and that unwanted attention that Junsu himself kept on attracting. It wasn’t the greatest feeling a guy should have.

Where was he anyways?

“Yoochun,” a voice called out from ten meters away from him.

That voice was definitely Junsu’s. Just the sound of it made him feel a million times better.

“Hey you,” Yoochun greeted gently with a smile as the man in front of him now only just stood a meter away. He knew it was very insensitive for him to be even talking to him like this even after last night but their relationship was going to end. He at least needed to do something good to benefit this guy. And this is the only way he knew how. “Are you feeling better?”

“Not a bit,” Junsu again with that toneless voice answered out loud, “just got worse now.”

“Well, since it’s our last day together even if we only met each other for a short while, I’ll talk today instead of you,” Yoochun again with that fake mask, told him. “I’m not usually the guy that talks outside so I’ll change that for just today. Remember when we first met? I rarely talked. But for some reason, ever since you came, I gained a bit of confidence at my voice.

“Why are you doing this? Did Jaejoong tell you to do this or something?” Junsu interrogated him out of curiosity.

Yoochun could only laugh. This guy was always sharp and on his toes. “No, of course not. If Jaejoong told me to show this place to you, I wouldn’t go even if he asked a million times. I don’t even know why he’d ask me to show this to you.”

“Isn’t this place valuable to you? Why do you not want to go to it if it’s that important?”

“This place is actually my home,” Yoochun confessed as they walked down the streets. “Well at least what’s left of it. It burnt down when I was little so there are only probably little things there. I don’t know if you heard this but do you know that street the government shut down ten years ago? It was really all because of my house burning down. Kind of weird right? Closing off a street just because of that.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Junsu asked him. It has been bugging him that this situation came out of nowhere and Park Yoochun was also not the type to be open about these things.

“Well, I don’t really know but maybe you’ll figure out an answer after,” Yoochun again replied flawlessly covering up his true intentions. “Just give me a chance.”

“And that street,” Junsu added on, “I know about that. My father told me to never go to that area since it’s too dangerous. I have my doubtsn”

“Dangerous huh?” Yoochun scoffed as he walked on ahead at the end of the block. “Well, you see here,” he showed Junsu the street that led to his home, “it does say do not cross, but if it’s dangerous, there would be guards here. I don’t see any so definitely, it’s not dangerous. We’ll be fine. But I can’t really guarantee that since it’s my first time in ten years coming back here but just put a little trust in me okay?”

Both of them continued to walk down that road and as they did, Yoochun’s grief started to rise even more. Everything did look the same. All these places, he could see him and his mother at every nook of this street.

And finally, under that big lamp post was his own house. The fence and that brick wall entrance was laid untouched by the fire and his only reaction was to touch it. Even that car that crashed to the lamppost right beside their house was still there, but this time, rusty and dirty. It brought a painful smile to his face as he looked at this home for the very first time in ten years. He placed his palms and his face on top of that entrance as if doing so will bring happiness to his heart. Right now, he could only feel grief and regret.

“Yoochun,” Junsu called out as he looked around. This place almost seemed too familiar as he examined more carefully. He needed to be careful. He didn’t know why but he started to feel faint for some reason and his head started to hurt. It was like that time he read Yoochun’s files. That wasn’t the most pleasant feeling ever too. “This was your home?” he finally asked.

“Yeah, this is where I lived,” Yoochun smiled at the man behind him. “Me, my father and my mom,” he paused to keep his voice together, “we were once that happy family.”

“And you lived in this?” Junsu again kept on asking and asking as if he couldn’t believe it. Most of the house was burnt down but really it wouldn’t take much to burn down a very small house like this. Compared to the ones in this street, this house was definitely the smallest and probably the most unsafe buildings here. No wonder Yoochun didn’t want to go back here.

But why would he come here just to tell him this story? Was it just for the sake of him being his friend? Or was there something more?

“Well, yeah,” Yoochun finally just sat down right in front of the entrance. He couldn’t come any closer to this home he talked about and Junsu did the same. It was probably safe for him to sit down anyways. “It was definitely home to me. But after that accident, I lost both of my parents. You see, my father was rich too, but he gambled a lot so he lost all the money. Then when things go tough he wanted to kill both me and my mother for insurance.”

“Just because of that huh?” Junsu breathed out loud.

“It feels like this house never changed at all,” Yoochun forced a smile on his face when he looked up at this burnt house. He did manage to but a tear escaped from his eyes. “You see there?” he pointed to the opened door as he wiped the tear that escaped his eyes one by one. “By the time I got out of the house, I was half blind already. I ran from the back of the house where the kitchen was, out that front door and by the time I reached this entrance here, I was completely blind. Couldn’t see anything, not even the tiniest light.”

“You were scared weren’t you?” Junsu said as he tried to picture that small kid running through those doors. “It’s good that you can see now then.”

“Well, it was all because of this super rich family that got involved in this accident too.” Yoochun laughed as he wiped his tears. “Sorry, I can’t seem to stop crying.” He continued to laugh it off but still continued to talk. “But as lucky as I was, for both the families I was the bad luck. Because when I ran through this very street, the car that was passing by here crashed since the driver was caught off guard and tried to avoid me. The driver bled to death but the passenger who was a kid just knocked his head. Right now, I think he’s still suffering from temporary memory loss.”

Yoochun looked at Junsu just to see if there was any reaction but the only thing he saw was this tough guy sitting like a ball, his face right on his knees and hands at his head.

“Junsu?” Yoochun called out. He really didn’t notice that Junsu was actually in pain. “You listening?”

“I’m listening,” Junsu looked up at him and smiled but his face paled every second that he listened to this story. His head started to hurt a lot more and his vision getting blurrier by the minute. “Weren’t you scared then?” he asked again. “You were alone from there weren’t you?”

“You see that car over there?” Yoochun pointed to the black Audi with the left hand side completely torn from the crash to that wall and then the lamppost. “Like I said, there was this kid that banged his head. He saw me in front of his car but poor him, I yelled at the guy since I was really scared. He asked for my help but really, I couldn’t do anything. I was crying blood as my tears!”

“You don’t need to act tough about this,” Junsu interrupted Junsu from talking. “You’re shaking.”

“Let me finish the story Junsu,” Yoochun looked down still holding onto that smile as tears fell from his eyes. “Let me finish before I break down.”

“Suit yourself,” Junsu once again just placed his head right on his knees. For once, he wanted to crack open his skull from that squeezing pain that he felt coming from the inside. He really didn’t know what was causing it but he was mentally dying on the inside. The more he heard about this story, the more he felt like he could relate to it because something similar happened to him. He really didn’t know what this similar thing was and why he felt like he could relate to it but that was just his brain acting up.

“The kid…” Yoochun continued on as he looked at the scene and not at Junsu’s condition. “The kid asked me for help to get his sister out but as a blind person I just sat there crying. I told him I couldn’t do it. I told him I needed to find someone to rescue my mom since she was burning. I told him all my problems, and I expected him to leave but just like this, where we sit now, that kid held my hand and he hugged me from behind.”

“Stupid kid,” Junsu replied, still maintaining that position he was at. “He should have saved his sister.”

“Maybe he knew how bad the situation was. Maybe that kid knew no matter what, he had to live on for the both of them. Maybe it was like that,” Yoochun spoke as if he knew and had experience. “He spoke to me and we chatted for a while. I even got to know his name too. But as soon as I introduced myself, everything just got quiet. I thought he died and then blacked out after that.”

“So in the end, you couldn’t save your mother…” Junsu wobbly stood up, his hand automatically shooting right at his forehead. It felt like he was having a brain overflow or something but he was too pained to know what he was learning. “And the kid couldn’t save his sister? So… who’s the… stupid kid?” he asked between his breaths. He could really feel his consciousness definitely slipping away.

“All of the people in this country either hate him or love him,” Yoochun replied still sitting down not even paying attention to what’s happening to the guy beside him. “You probably know him very well too. His name was Junsu like yours. But instead people call him Kim Junsu. Just that thought of that is scary too right? I mean he’s the richest guy in this country!”

“What?” Junsu breathed out his last conscious breath of that day. It was him? So this was the accident…? What? The girl who died…that was his sister? The stupid kid was him...? “And Park Yoochun…” he managed to say out loud with all those running voices and scenes flowing inside his head.

Yoochun’s head shot up to where that faint voice came from. He finally noticed the pale Junsu. “Wait. Junsu?” he asked. “Junsu?”

There was no reply. He could only see this guy beside him dripping in cold sweat and pale lips. It was like that time where he came back to Kim Junsu’s house after classes only to find him passed out at the entrance!

“Junsu are you okay? Are you sick?” Yoochun finally just sprang to his foot to check on the guy. But as soon he got back up to his feet, Junsu fell down.

This guy was knocked out cold with only the bitter hard concrete to catch his body. “Junsu! You should have told me you were sick or something! Junsu! Wake up! Stay with me…”

“Park Yoochun,” Junsu forced a smile as his eyes fluttered open and closed. “I see…I get it,” he managed to say before he lost consciousness.

“Oh no. Junsu! Junsu! Open your goddamn eyes!” Yoochun yelled out loud. How was he supposed to explain this to the hospital when they find out he’s Kim Junsu?

************

A/N: yaaaay. Phew. That took a while. Very Happy OMG. JUNSU GETS IT? WHAAT DOES HE MEAN? Hehe.*sigh* Because of this chapter, this story will probably end sooner that I thought. XD Dunno if you guys still remember anything so I tried to use a bit of flashbacks just to help a bit. Like maybe, you forgot about changmin’s note to junsu, or the I love you’s said, so hopefully some of the flashbacks helped. XD Hopefully it’s not as frustrating as before.

Maybe the length for today is. XD I shall try to make chapters shorter next time. Hehe~ anyways, I’m excited for the next chapter. I’m craving for some Yunjae or maybe JAEHO, (I’m not going to spoil!) so there will probably a lot of scenes from the couple on the next chapter. Hehe. WOW. Yunho meets the blonde angelic devil. LOL. I do apologize for not updating for a while but I TRIED MY BEST Very Happy. My next update will come soon but it will be to my ‘Changes’ story. Yay for Vamp!YOOSU. hehe~ awright! I said what I have to say, so hopefully you guys still remember me and don’t for get to comment! But I’m going back to my sleep. C:

Forever and ever loves from me. And take care for all the things that you guys do. Happy summer vacation for people who do have one. And for people who have school, happy schooling! XD Nerds.

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

Post by ithepolarbear on 10/10/2010, 6:28 pm

Goddamn ! I can't get chapter 14 to show up . Or is it just not posted ? :p

ithepolarbear

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

Post by 3ternallove on 10/11/2010, 4:44 pm

ithepolarbear wrote:Goddamn ! I can't get chapter 14 to show up . Or is it just not posted ? :p

hahha, i visited the links, they're woking fine!
you should click the winglin one because that one's not private.
the LJ (livejournal) one is private so you have to have an lj account and add me as a friend to read chapter 14 or any other chapters. XD sorrry for the inconvenience,Smile

3ternallove

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

Post by ithepolarbear on 10/12/2010, 3:34 pm

3ternallove wrote:
ithepolarbear wrote:Goddamn ! I can't get chapter 14 to show up . Or is it just not posted ? :p

hahha, i visited the links, they're woking fine!
you should click the winglin one because that one's not private.
the LJ (livejournal) one is private so you have to have an lj account and add me as a friend to read chapter 14 or any other chapters. XD sorrry for the inconvenience,Smile

aaaah, i seeeee ...
*strokes invisible beard*
haha, i just tried the winglin, and it worked . this smarty pants finally got it ! xD and no inconvenience whatsoever, it's all good . ^^ one more quick thing, if that's okay -- what's livejournal ? :p i'm sort of new to the site and whatnot ... i dunno much, haha .

ithepolarbear

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

Post by 3ternallove on 10/12/2010, 7:58 pm

ithepolarbear wrote:
3ternallove wrote:
ithepolarbear wrote:Goddamn ! I can't get chapter 14 to show up . Or is it just not posted ? :p

hahha, i visited the links, they're woking fine!
you should click the winglin one because that one's not private.
the LJ (livejournal) one is private so you have to have an lj account and add me as a friend to read chapter 14 or any other chapters. XD sorrry for the inconvenience,Smile

aaaah, i seeeee ...
*strokes invisible beard*
haha, i just tried the winglin, and it worked . this smarty pants finally got it ! xD and no inconvenience whatsoever, it's all good . ^^ one more quick thing, if that's okay -- what's livejournal ? :p i'm sort of new to the site and whatnot ... i dunno much, haha .

livejournal is pretty much like an online journal to write anything you want,
and there's a lot of yaoi based communities that you can join so you can read all the entries people make there. so for example, there's a community called yoosu_yongwonhi. It's a community dedicated to yoosu fanfics. or hug____ which is based on all the pairings in dbsk. people post there every time they update their fic so it's awesome. you just need to follow the group and you'll see entries. or you can even friend the person so that you can see their individual entry that only they post. Smile so something like that. It's just basically a site where there's a range of groups that you can join according to your interests. I want to recommend it if you love reading great fanfics. most of the good ones are the ones you can find in livejournal. Smile

but if you want more information or just to try it out first, i'd definitely recommend!
www.livejournal.com
if you make an account, and don't know what communities to join and how to join,
i'll hook you up with links of everything i joined so you don't have to look for them.
just pm me. Smile

3ternallove

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Chapter 21: Problems Before the Storm

Post by 3ternallove on 1/28/2011, 12:33 pm


Chapter 21: Problems Before the Storm


"Junsu!" Jaejoong yelled out as he burst through that hospital door of Junsu's room taking long strides to get to his bedside. It took him about two seconds to realize that Yoochun was also there, just standing still, staring silently at the unconscious man.

He suddenly slowed down, realizing that the unthinkable might have occurred. Did Yoochun find out? It was that question that bugged him for that moment in time. It was all too quiet and yet, neither one of them spoke.

"Which Junsu are you looking for Jae?" Yoochun finally asked as he placed a towel over Junsu's eyes. He did so because of the fact that he wanted to hide the evidence of knowing this man’s identity. "The existent or the non-existent? In which case, they are both here and yet I only see one person."

"Yoochun! I can explain!" Jaejoong suddenly just said so that the man in front of him wouldn't misunderstand.

“Why?” it was all that Yoochun could ask. “Why?” his question became louder, almost screamed out. “So you can make a fool out of me more?”

“No! Yoochun, don’t misunderstand!” the blonde haired man could only reply as quickly as he could think. He couldn’t let this guy get even more depressed and make the situation even worse. “We only kept it from you because—“

“No Jaejoong. No,” Yoochun calmly interrupted him. “Don’t answer. Don’t explain to me. Don’t give me excuses or reasons. It’s been only a week and my life’s a fucking mess and I can’t help but think you brought this upon me!”

“It needs to be answered! You’re already starting to misunderstand!”

"Then let me misunderstand!" the blue eyed man said with a troubled face. “I’m not going to do anything rash. We’re not kids anymore.”

"I want you to understand—!"

“I’ve calmed down Jaejoong. I’ve accepted it. I knew. So I had time to think things over. I don’t need a week or a month to understand a whole lot of things. I know so don’t mess with me and my head any longer.”

Jaejoong was interrupted as he spoke. He didn’t like it one bit. There were too many questions he wanted to ask. When? How? Why? And as much as he hated being cut off from his questions, he paused himself for a brief moment to pay attention to what it was in front of him.

Yoochun, who never even looked at his face, at that moment, pulled out a piece of paper and abruptly held it an inch away in front of his eyes."This morning when both of us went to Junsu's apartment, I saw something," Yoochun continued to talk as he still held the note he read from the start of the day. “And tell you what Jae, I believe it more than your words right now. I don’t need any more lies to cover up the truth.”

It took Jaejoong a few moments to respond as he tried to read the words written on that piece of paper. His confused look turned into a frown seconds later.

The truth was stated here and he won’t defend this false fact they’ve been hiding all along.

"Are you kidding me?" Jaejoong laughed at the unbelievable mistake.

"I'm not going to freak out or get mad like this morning," Yoochun managed to reply even though he tried to keep his anger and frustration. "I was about to chase down your car to hear an explanation but I’m no superman. I would have failed drastically. And if you’re going to explain right now, I don’t need it. I simply don’t care for it right about now."

"Sorry,” Jaejoong could only say. “I’m so sorry. But you need to understand—!” Jaejoong was cut off yet again by Yoochun’s snapping temper.

“Fuck, Jaejoong!” Yoochun cursed. “I know! I know. I know and fuck, I know.” He kept on repeating those words just so the man beside him wouldn’t dare speak. “As much as maybe this is for the better that I didn’t know, I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me earlier on! Am I just a fool to be toyed around with? Is that what it is?”

“Not once did we ever think that way!” Jaejoong tried to explain to the frustrated man beside him. “We only wanted to protect you! It’s just that Junsu…he—“

Yoochun with his fist at his side ready to punch the insensitive man, gave Jaejoong a rude shove back and turned to Junsu once again. But right after he did that, he felt a little bit remorseful. “Sorry.” It was the only thing he could say out loud at that moment in time.

“Alright! Alright. Fine! I get it.” Jaejoong replied to him as he raised both his hands up in surrender. He didn’t have the right to get angry at Yoochun. It was only normal for a person to act like that after this stupid charade and so he sighed and changed the subject. Once both of them got a bit of a breather, he finally spoke to the other with a calm tone as he got himself together. “He won't talk to you now that you know this secret, you know that right?" he told him the truth bluntly.

"Then don't tell him that I know his identity," Yoochun replied with also a straight forward answer. “I still want to talk to him about…things. And I want to apologize. Maybe we can be friends.”

After hearing the word friends, Jaejoong almost burst out laughing from disbelief. “Friends huh? After the guy confesses his deepest feelings of ‘I love you’ to you, you told him to fuck off. Then later on apologize and suggest, let’s be friends? Are you fucking sane?” Jaejoong ranted out loud unconsciously and by the time he realized he was talking out loud, he was too late. He finished his whole thought and out loud too.

He looked at Yoochun who just stood there staring at him awestruck as if he too just realized his stupidity.
“No offense,” Jaejoong covered his mouth. He didn’t want to start a fight with this guy anymore.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” Yoochun confessed. “I wanted an excuse so maybe that…I can talk to him or something. Right now, I just wanted to know if he’s coping well….But I don’t even know why I’m thinking about these things. I’m supposed to hate him since he’s one of them.”

“Hate him for what Yoochun?” Jaejoong asked him. “Hate him…Blame him for your ruined past? Use him as a form of retribution for your deceased mother? Or are you just using this reason so that you can run away?”

And those were his exact reasons. Yoochun knew about it. He grew up hating those men in their high class suits and their ‘I love money’ attitude. And Junsu as he pictured him to be was the exact image of them. But over time, his ideals and point of view started to change. And what he thought was the absolute truth became false. How was he supposed to get revenge for his mother who died because of some selfish deed? Just days of spending time with Junsu especially at the beach that day, he couldn’t help but have this feeling of closeness to the man. He didn’t want that and so all he could think of was push him away.

Fed up with the tension, Yoochun sighed and as a replacement took a big breath in. “Let’s drop this. I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he finally said out loud as he hung his head lose. “Here, it’s his glasses. I took it off so it doesn’t seem like he’s in a weird get up. I want to leave before he wakes up so time’s up for me. See you whenever.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Jaejoong replied calmly stopping all those thoughts that ran through Yoochun’s head as he was about to take a step to leave. “I just wanted you to realize some things you couldn’t see. Yesterday, when you and that drunk Junsu spoke, you didn’t even consider any of your feelings or his. You casually let go of the words ‘I hate you’ just because of some stupid man who was rich made your life horrible. For you to make Junsu cry that much— I mean, wow! Junsu rarely cries. And for him to cry…I can’t help but feel concerned.”

“I don’t know Jaejoong!” Yoochun abruptly reacted to his words. “I don’t know. It’s my own reaction that just happens when… I don’t know…”

“Of course you don’t! You left this morning hating on him when he said he loved you and now, you’re thinking up of excuses because you simply just want to talk to him again. Figure out what the fuck you want because I’m sick and tired of this bullshit.”

“You make me sound like I’m such a selfish person Jae,” Yoochun complained silently. And with a weak exhausted sigh, he leaned back on the wall adjacent to the door. “When I first met him, I wanted him to face reality because of his spoiled life. I’ve always had a bias about ‘his’ kind. So at that moment, I wanted to befriend him and yet again, I wanted to get away from him. I wanted to hate him and yet I’m here all worried that he’s hurt. The feelings inside me are too contradicting that I’m getting confused!”

Jaejoong could only question Yoochun’s feelings. This guy was in obvious denial. Of course he was no God. He was only telling him the things that were painstakingly obvious and yet however, was not seen by this dense man.

“I did try to hate the both of you know,” Yoochun again confessed the plain truth. “I tried to hate the both of you but I just couldn’t. Every time I saw Junsu, I just wanted to protect him and if I saw him in trouble, I couldn’t help but come to his aid. But now that I think about it, I feel like a fool because he protected me more than I protected him. Right at the first day I met him, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of both the Junsu’s I’ve met. But because I gave in to that feeling, look where I am now! My life’s upside down.”

“Well then, I’ll apologize in his place for making a mess of things,” Jaejoong told him.

“And even though you say that and even though I have nothing to do with you guys anymore…” Yoochun hesitated to say what he was about to say next, “I can’t help but care about Junsu!”

“Then what is Junsu to you?” Jaejoong emphasized that question to him. “You care about him so much that your puffed up eyes tell me that you cried for him when he passed out,” Jaejoong told him. “You care for him so much that you can’t even take your eyes off of him until he has opened his eyes.”

“Shut up Jae,” he looked away so that the man wouldn’t say out loud what he secretly feels. “I was worried for a… friend.”

“So a friend huh?”

“That’s the best description I can give as of now.”

“Park Yoochun, you are terribly in love with him.”

“Ye--, No, I’m not!” Yoochun unconsciously answered at that statement. But he managed to catch himself before he was able to say something so weird and give an answer so not like Park Yoochun. So again, he quickly shot those words down as soon as he processed those words in his head. “You’re pushing these feelings on to me again.”

“You need to face the facts and stop denying the inevitable. In your head you have the answers but you just don’t want to look because you’re too stubborn! You feel like you’re giving it your all, but you’re not even giving half the effort Junsu has placed out. At least make it seem like you are trying in my eyes.”

“I am trying! Look at where I am now! I’m blurting out 1000 words per minute when I used to not even care to talk!” Yoochun exaggeratedly spoke out loud with his voice full of disbelief. “I even befriended these things that I fucking hate!”

“Hate towards my kind?” Jaejoong scoffed at the statement. “You hate when you can’t even resent both Junsu and I. Please Yoochun, anyone can talk. Even a baby can make sounds. So, can you even compare?”

“I don’t understand Jaejoong. I fucking don’t understand what’s so special about you two that’s enough to mess up the flow of my life,” Yoochun ranted his feelings out in these words. “Why do I even get bothered?”

Jaejoong scoffed as he turned around to get something from the table across the room. “I was going to deliver this to you,” he said as he walked back to Yoochun handing him an envelope. “It’s an invitation. Since you’re not getting it at all, I’d rather much show you tonight. Promise me not to run away.”

“An invitation to what?” Yoochun asked.

“A grand party,” Jaejoong replied with that sarcastic tone.

“This is the party at the Kim’s isn’t it?” Yoochun questioned once again. “What are you thinking? I’ll only get kicked out.”

“This is Junsu’s fight,” Jaejoong answered him. “This is your last chance to make a final decision of how things will end up. He’s about to disappear from your life completely, Yoochun. He’s completely going to disappear out of your life. And this is your one last chance.” He stated the same words again to drill these in Yoochun’s head. “And if you’re saying these words just because you’re in denial or in confusion, you need to go and have another chat with him.”

“I already told you, I have Changm—“ He was cut off.

“Did Changmin ever once tell you, he loved you?” Jaejoong interrogated him. “And did you ever once tell him, you love him?”

“We don’t have to say those words to prove that we love each other,” Yoochun answered back quickly. “Why do I have to explain myself anyways?”

“I’ll show you the painful truth since a lot of things are out of the bag anyways,” he paused and then hesitantly continued, “I’ll let you in on a secret tonight. So come.”

“Give me a reason to go and I’ll think about it.”

“Just go. You and I both know you want to meet Junsu to talk. Isn’t that enough?”

Yoochun couldn’t even retort an answer. He was too damn obvious.

“You’re going to regret it if you don’t,” Jaejoong sighed as he, little by little, lost his patience. “You’re going to regret everything since you’re so stupid for not seeing what’s lying in front of you. I don’t want to spell it out for you any longer but your foolishness forces me to. There is a right answer here Yoochun, I suggest looking at the face right in front of you. You’ll find it there.”

Yoochun could only stand in silence. There were no words to reply to it.

He began to speak once again. “Right now, I feel that I have to be the one to show you who to love, who to befriend and who to hate. Since to me,” Jaejoong paused to think. “To me, you’re that oblivious kid who doesn’t have any experience of seeing others for who they really are. To feel comfortable in this world, you don’t try to get to know others for their own personality but what characteristic you make for them in your own world. This is how you came to hate Junsu whom you were supposed to love and love Changmin when you guys only shared a bond of friendship. And if you keep being this way, there will always be betrayal. And I’ll fucking show you that Yoochun. I’ll get rid of this paradise you’ve set in your head because it’s suffocating you. I can’t explain it to you so why not give this a chance?”

“I’m being punished aren’t I?” Yoochun comfortably in front of Jaejoong spoke now. These types of conversations have been common for the past few days.

“You’re not getting punished,” Jaejoong told him. “The one who’s punishing you is your own self. It’s just fate working its wonders so let it flow. You’re only having a hard time because you’re pushing against it.. Use your head for once and actually think. Don’t deny your thoughts any longer. Grow up.”

There was a long pause and everything to them just remained as still and quiet as a statue.

“You want to go don’t you?” Jaejoong for the hundredth time read his feelings. “Do what you want to. Go if you want to go. That’s all I can say.”

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation which made Yoochun quickly stand on his two feet. The door started to open a second later after the knock, and him and Jaejoong could only stare.

“Good afternoon. Kim Jaejoong I suppose? I see you got the message,” a man wearing a white robe spoke to only the blond haired man. “I have results from the brain scans and x-rays.”

“Then it’s time for me to go now,” Yoochun said as he walked towards Jaejoong, patting his shoulder as a sign of goodbye. “I have a lot of things to think about.”

“You can be selfish for once,” Jaejoong reminded him. “Don’t be scared to become a greedy bastard.”

“I’ll think about it Jae,” Yoochun paused as he grabbed the knob and twisted it to open the closed door. “I told Junsu that I won’t let him see me anymore and I feel that I shouldn’t take back my own words and cause more trouble for him.”

“Like I said, don’t be scared to become a greedy bastard. Do what you want and not what others expect you to do.”

“But Jaejoong, don’t you think the easiest way out of this is to just say ‘I don’t need him’? Because to me, what I can do right now is to love hating him. If I do this, I think everything will be over.”

“Contradicting words Park Yoochun. But think it over. Will you be happy?”

“Sorry to interrupt, but are you leaving already Mr. Park?” the doctor called out to him before he got the chance to close the door.

“Yeah,” he managed to answer back, “if anyone asks who brought him in here, just tell them that a random stranger found him on the sidewalk.”

“But sir,” the doctor wanted to argue but Jae interrupted their conversation.

“He’s right doctor,” Jaejoong butted in, “if anyone asks, tell them a stranger brought him to the hospital. And if that doesn’t satisfy you, tell them I’m the one who brought him in here.” He looked at Yoochun who was at the door ready to leave. “It’s fine Yoochun. Just leave.”

And that’s what the blue eyed man did. Without a word, he left silently and closed the door.

“I need five minutes doc,” Jaejoong told the white robed man. “Come back in five minutes. I need to settle something first.”

“Alright then,” the man said and left the door quickly, a bit confused.
And as soon as the door shut, Junsu rose from the bed. And the towel that Yoochun placed over his eyes fell right on top of his left hand.

“You were awake?” Jaejoong smiled at him as he did.
“Just now,” Junsu groaned out as he pressed on the bridge of his nose. “I heard Yoochun’s voice. Does he know my…?”

Jaejoong sighed at the lie he was about to make. But Junsu could only eye him closely as he did this.
He was so hesitant about this since he has never lied to Junsu, but at least, he should keep this promise for Yoochun.

“Yoochun never came in at this room,” Jaejoong told him. “He did, but I went in first and covered half of your face with that towel, and then I told him to come in. He doesn’t know yet.”

“So he was here,” Junsu looked down with eyes that looked too depressed for their own good.

“You heard something didn’t you?” Jaejoong raised his brow at Junsu and walked to his side.
The man that sat straight up at the bed could only laugh at his sadness.
“What did you hear?” Jaejoong asked nervously.

The mood suddenly turned for the worst.

“Jaejoong,” Junsu finally said to him out loud. “I don’t know how…I don’t know why…But lend me your shoulder. I want to hide.”

Jaejoong did as he was told. He knew this man was truly hurting. He didn’t know how bad but if he needed a shoulder, he gets one. And so, without any hesitation, he went over and sat on the bed feeling Junsu’s forehead rest against it. “You coping well?”

There was no reply so Jaejoong turned towards him to observe Junsu’s face. He was just in time to see tears fall out of those never melting ice cold eyes.

“Ah…” Junsu uttered out loud as he felt those tears drop from his eyes. He tried to hold them back by looking up but before he realized it, he was crying and it was too late to stop them. Not wanting for Jaejoong to see him cry, he quickly covered his face with his right hand and looked down. “I’m always fine,” he managed to answer with his cracking voice. Tears continued to fall out of his eyes and yet, him and Jaejoong could only remain quiet as if that was the only thing they could do. “What am I living for, Jae?” He now couldn’t hold back his cry. “Why am I here?”

“What happened that made you like this?” Jaejoong questioned him but as soon as the question was asked, there was that though already creeping up from the back of his mind. He knew. Junsu has regained his memories.

“Don’t question me!”

“We’re still young Junsu,” Jaejoong told him as he understood what that blunt reply meant. “We can start life over and over again. It’s never too late.”

“But it’s not that! Why am I crying?” Junsu tried to stop these tears from falling. He kept on wiping his face with his hands but tears wouldn’t stop.

“Tears are meant for when you’re feeling sadness, maybe anger, maybe when you’re feeling scared too.
But sometimes, you also tear up when you’re just too damn happy!” Jaejoong could only hug him tighter and tighter as if he was gripping on to Junsu’s sanity.

Junsu could now only sob louder and let his tears out. “I feel a huge lump in my throat and it fucking hurts!”

Jaejoong could only laugh at the poor man’s reaction as he patted the sobbing man’s back. “I’ll do my best tonight to protect your heart in many ways. I never ever want to see you like this any longer.”

“He’s sending me away to Paris isn’t he?” Junsu told the man. He knew already.

“You knew?” Jaejoong now broke the hug and stared at the man. “Your father thinks I’m a bad influence,” he now chuckled as he held Junsu’s shoulders at each side. “The devil wants me to tell you that your private jet leaves at nine tomorrow. He doesn’t seem like he’s taking all this too well especially the “this-and-that” relationship with your one and only Yoochun.”

Junsu now started to wipe his tears and faced the wall. “I’m so pathetic. It feels like I worked so hard for nothing.”

“Why are you so ashamed of crying when everyone has cried a million times more than you?” Jaejoong rhetorically asked him. “Don’t be so ashamed of crying. It’s the only way to keep sane.”

“This isn’t me,” Junsu replied back, still crying but only this time he faced the wall. “This isn’t Kim Junsu.”

“You’re right, this isn’t the Kim Junsu your father made. It’s alright to show your weak side from time to time. You’re only human to feel hurt.”

And with those words, the sound of Junsu’s sob settled down little by little until it completely stopped.
It took long minutes for this to happen, but once it actually did, Jaejoong could only feel relief. A crying Junsu wasn’t his forte.

“You’ve calmed down?” Jaejoong said as he patted him on the back.

“I can’t afford for my eyes and face to be swollen,” Junsu answered. “I’ll continue later when I realize I have once again failed to gain freedom. For now, I’ll continue to pretend that I’m still a puppet.”

“Then what’s the plan?”

Junsu breathed in to just temporarily hold himself together. He then spoke with a clear voice, “call that doctor in. We need to get going. There are too many things attached to my body it makes me want to take it all off.”
Jaejoong could only shake his head sideways in amusement. And at the same time, he worried.
“Just do it, my head is still throbbing.”

“I only have to bear with this for just one more night.” As entertained as he could be, Jaejoong got up and pushed the call button at the side of the bed. “After tonight, life will definitely be quiet again.”

There was a huge pause and silence crept in.

Junsu looked outside his window and quietly said, “After tonight, I’d love it if I’m still sane.”

The doctor knocked once again and came in. Perfect timing.

“Come here,” Junsu ordered as he looked straight at the doctor’s eye.

The doctor now rushed to his side. “Sir?”

“Tell me,” Junsu commanded him as he eyed those papers and x-ray scans the doctor was holding. He was hoping for results that wouldn’t reveal anything as of yet. “Tell me my results.”

“The results are negative,” the practitioner breathlessly reported to him. “There are no signs of bleeding or blood clotting in the brain. But we have to be careful since pains this big in the head may cause temporary hearing loss. But usually, in your situation, it might just be signs of remembrance. Do you remember anything by chance?”

Jaejoong searched those eyes for clues of deception. He had always admired Junsu for his ability of deceit. Even though they have been together for so long, there wasn’t once a time when he figured out if Junsu was lying. Even though he knew the truth, the false words Junsu says out loud seemed like the real truth instead.

“Complete blank,” Junsu, with a non-failing straight voice lied. “And I’m completely fine so unhook everything now. Take these things off that are attached to my forehead and my arms. I don’t need them.”

“But…!” the doctor tried to fight back against his orders.

“You’re quite a brave man aren’t you?” Junsu threatened him. “Do you want to get fired for refusing my orders?”

“I love my job,” the doctor defended himself. “I love it a lot that I care about every single one of my patients. So at least, please, for your safety, just let this drip run out. It will only take about fifteen more minutes of your time. Please reconsider.”

Junsu wasn’t convinced at all. Instead of understanding, he could only place his fingertips on his aching head and frustration came out of his lips. “I don’t give a shit about drips. So if you don’t take these out, I will—”

“What the hell are you saying Kim Junsu? Did your sanity just snap?” Jaejoong came up to him and flicked his forehead. “Should I mend it back for you?”

“There’s not much time left Jaejoong,” Junsu reasoned as he punched the bed with his fist. “There’s not much time…”

“It’s only fifteen minutes,” Jaejoong explained back. “And it’s only five in the afternoon, you weren’t knocked out that long. Once the drip is done, I’ll get you to your apartment in five minutes tops. All our things are prepared there and everything is set. I’ll be here Junsu, so fucking keep yourself together. We haven’t begun yet.”

“You win. We’ll have it your way. But once we get out of here, and out of the car, every single detail and layout of the plan should be stated out loud to me.”

Junsu was definitely serious about this.

****

It took at least thirty minutes for Yoochun to get back to his lonely home that he hasn’t been to in a while. And in there, he just sat on that empty bed. It felt different. It felt uncomfortable. For the first time, he wanted at least to have someone there to sit beside him. Of course, even though he boasted and argued that Changmin was always there, he wasn’t the person that was able to fill up anything, even that great loneliness.

He knew he would always be like this but ever since Kim Junsu came along, there were these little changes in him that kept on happening. With just a single touch, he already felt safe and comfortable as if they had known each other for the longest time. It was those times that his feelings of depression, hate and loneliness vanished.

He wanted to touch those hands once again if he could. It would only take a second for him to feel that warmth once again so that he would feel safe. It was an addicting feeling that he couldn’t just get out of.

He took out that invitation Jaejoong gave him and stared at it blankly. What would he really accomplish if he went? Was it just for that want to see Junsu again? Ever since he met the guy, his life became messed up. After meeting him it was always Junsu to the right, Junsu to the left, Junsu at his front and Junsu at his back. This guy was all over.

That’s right.

He was right.

He just wanted to see Junsu again. As much as he didn’t want to admit it himself, he really did want to see that guy as much as time allows him to.

With him, his feelings are at ease.

He should be selfish for once towards Changmin. Whoever gets betrayed, he’ll just hope that it wouldn’t be him.
Making up his mind, he stood up from his empty bed and headed towards the closet to at least begin to get ready. He was shocked to see it empty. The only pieces of clothing it had was one single set of outfit—suited for a party—a high class white suit.

Yoochun could only scoff as if he had been just played around with. That Jaejoong knew everything. He even left a note along with that stupid outfit.

He read it to himself.

Opening your closet must have meant that you’re going to attend the party. And judging from this, you must have found your little resolve inside your heart. So here are your clothes for the party. I’ll let you keep them. It will be my personal gift to you for a good choice of decision. They are yours to keep. As for your clothes, we’ll get back to that later.

A word of caution though—stay on the down low and don’t let Junsu’s father spot you when you get there or even Junsu. The last thing I want to do is catch him off guard with you there.

And another thing, tonight, you’re not Park Yoochun. It’s one of the catches of attending this party. I had to leave tiny details out so you don’t get intimidated. But, however, cutting to the chase, to get in this party, you have to have a certain title and a normal person like you wouldn’t have one. So, you’ll pretend to be Jeo Chung-hee. He’s not seen in these formal parties and so no one has seen him before. His character completely speaks high class. He loves women and money. He’s mysterious, and quiet but he has an intimidating aura around him so keep that in mind. He’s the youngest president to own a franchise in America. And by his family name, the enterprise he runs is the Jeo Enterprise. As he is always overseas, nobody has ever seen his face yet except for me and Junsu. He’s not going to be here tonight so you can take his place. I already arranged everything so you can go in with ease. His portfolio is at the side of your bed so read through them. As you can see, getting in here and also not getting eaten alive would require theatre. But it wouldn’t be hard right? You already don’t talk much when there’s a lot of people, you’re also mysterious and you have an aura to you. Just make it an intimidating one instead alright?
Once you get there though, I beg of you to please abandon your shy nature. The more intimidating you are, the more you won’t stand out. The more you try not to stand out, the more you will be noticed. You’ll see what I mean. These are high class men so hold your ground.

And another note, I’ve given you your cell back since you left it in my car before. It’s in the pocket of the suit. I already recorded your number down so just wait for my text for further directions tonight. Once you get the information, you have to get there within three minutes. It won’t be hard since you know the way around the mansion already right? I’ll meet you there.

P.S. Even if it doesn’t seem like I’m not there, just pretend that I’m always watching your back.
And one last thing—trust no one.

Best of luck Yoochun!

Yoochun for some reason wanted to kick something for being such a pushover all the time. And so, crumpling the note, he just threw it as hard as he could at the wall to ease all his frustrations. For once in his life, he really did feel like a toy that was always played around with and easily controllable.

“You’re such a fucking bastard Kim Jaejoong,” Yoochun said out loud and cursed until he relieved his tension. “Jeo Chung-hee? Are you kidding me? A commoner like me pretending to be some high-class man? And also becoming a man I obviously hate? Your smart ass personality is getting on my nerves.”

Taking the portfolio and his expensive clothes off the rack, Yoochun went straight to the washroom to get ready.

***********

Dongwook knocked at this ominous door. He was getting nervous at the plan and started to think things through. Should he still continue with this plan even if it was for Changmin’s safety?

Of course, the only reason why he was doing this was for his lover’s safety and yet now, he knew that once this charade is over, Changmin would be the one hating him. It will all be over for them even though his major operation would be a success.

He knew it. He knew Changmin would be the target tonight. The rat inside that company, that back stabbing Kim Kibum, had just reported that he would be the one carrying all those official documents instead of Jaejoong this year. How ironic that Changmin be in the company he’s against.

Does he know already? Is he mad? Would they break up after this? It was all these questions that made him not want to carry this mission out even though it was for his lover’s wellbeing. But this was the only way out. He had to do it even though he would only be left with nothing. He never had a choice even from the beginning.

“Come in,” the voice strictly ordered from the other side of the door.

Dongwook could only hesitate to come in but breathing in, he went in anyways.

“Everything’s prepared Dongwook?” Siwon asked urgently as he fixed the buttons on his sleeve and looked at his dazzling reflection in the mirror.

“Everything is well prepared, sir,” Dongwook replied urgently.

“You know I’m hesitating to put you up against your lover,” Siwon bluntly stated out of nowhere.
Dongwook’s heart raced as these words came out. This guy sensed his own self doubt already and he didn’t even speak about his concerns yet. What a sharp mind he has.
“There’s no need to worry,” he replied with a thick voice, “The documents that the Kim Enterprises will give to the Shim Enterprise will be present in Changmin’s hands tonight. These are the only things we need to bankrupt your enemy. And the fact that it’s Changmin, I’m the only one that’s able to get close to him so right now, I’m the best candidate.”

“I see,” Siwon smirked at himself and then looked at Dongwook. “You volunteered for this right? But that’s only because if it was anyone else, he would get hurt. That’s a damn good reason isn’t it? But right now, it’s too obvious that you’re not mentally prepared for this.”

“I disagree,” Dongwook said with eyes full of determination. “I’m more than ready to betray for the good. Unlike you, I stay true to my words.”

After these words were said, a hand automatically shot towards him and grabbed his collar.

“And who gave you permission to speak to me that way?” Siwon angrily taunted him.

“I didn’t say anything rude,” Dongwook spoke again but still managed to hold in his temper, “I’m merely stating the truth. I really don’t care about my life right now so kill me anytime you want. But I can assure you, there’s no one that will pull this plan better than my own. I know I won’t be forgiven for these tricks that I’m ordered to do, but however, at least I have guts to face it myself unlike you who only plays with puppets so that they could take the blame for you.”

“Good!” Siwon unexpectedly just let the man go and shoved him to the door. “Good. Good. Good. That’s great Dongwook. How loyal of you to set an example for me. But I want to remind you again that if you fail, one of us dies—and it’s not going to be me. Life is good,” the tall man fixed his collar once again and walked in front of the mirror to check if everything was still in order. “You know, I may not be good at a lot of things, but crushing others is what I am the best at. Remember that alright?”

“Of course, sir,” Dongwook replied in a calm fashioned manner. “If there’s anything else—“

“That’s all,” Siwon interrupted him, “Leave.”

And without a single respect of goodbye, Dongwook closed the door along with his bursting anger.

*************

As Jaejoong said, it didn’t take a while to get to Junsu’s apartment. But of course, the ride there had that tense atmosphere already. For each second and minute that passed by, the more Jaejoong feared for the outcome of this day. Junsu wasn’t even up to his full potential. He could tell. The guy was more pale than usual and is too emotional. As much as he was glad for this guy waking up, today wasn’t the best day for him to feel like crap. Even Changmin who was going to be the main man today had health problems and also that “lover” problem. By the way the situation looks right about now, things aren’t looking good for all of them. This plan required flawless execution and nobody not even Kim Junsu was in perfect condition to perform this perfect task.

“We’re not wasting any second starting now,” the uptight Junsu spoke as they got into his apartment. “Start talking. The only way we can break their plan is to act before the enemy.”

“Aye aye, sir,” Jaejoong told him as Junsu went ahead to his bed.

“Party begins at nineteen o’clock sharp. Meet Changmin at the second dining hall at 20:20. By 20:25, execution of plan: Changmin goes in the main hall, with the documents at hand. Of course it needs to be the real thing for Dongwook with just a quick glance will know if we’re playing around with them. I’ve taken to account his capabilities and so, we need not miss any minor details. 20:45, lure Dongwook into a private room a.k.a the third guest room at the third floor. Person accountable for the task at hand is Shim Changmin. As we predict, Dongwook will try to steal those documents without Changmin noticing but he has a gun on him for protection if needed. 21:30, Dongwook shall leave with the required information and also the documents while I on the other hand will be on standby next door ready to follow for pursuit. His next destination should be a meet up place where Siwon and men would be waiting. Most likely we’ll need cars and so there is one available at every corner of your house. Our goal is to arrest Siwon but we won’t be able to do it if he has guinea pigs doing all the work for him and so we need to catch this man on the act. Arresting him means no more threats in the future and the money we’ve been losing for days will come back once again. And yet, I doubt Dongwook will reveal anything if we catch him on the spot.”

“It’s alright,” Junsu spoke calmly as he wrapped his tie around his neck. “If for some reason Siwon doesn’t come out, I will make him come to us.”

“What?” Jaejoong could only wonder what Junsu was thinking. It’s a great skill how this man could dress nicely and at the same time think whole heartedly about the upcoming matters. To him, it felt as if this was all too easy for him.

“We have to consider and weigh out the possible situations at hand Jaejoong. Sometimes, your plan, as perfect as it seems will not carry out as you please. And if it doesn’t in this case, we have to be prepared to lure out the enemy for an attack.”

“How do you suppose we do that?”

“Luring out the enemy Jaejoong,” Junsu paused and smirked as he now looked at himself in front of the mirror fixing his side bangs, “is as easy as tempting the devil…because we’re all the same.”
Jaejoong could only lift his brow. “How so?”

“The devil is greedy. But so are all of us. Be it I, you, Siwon, Changmin, Yoochun— you name it, we’re all greedy in different levels. However, the greedier the person is, the more we can manipulate them to satisfy their desires.”

“Yoochun huh? I can’t see him as a greedy person,” Jaejoong stated out loud. “He’s not the type to want anything.”

“Of course,” Junsu answered with a smile. “But that’s only because he’s still looking for what he really wants the most. I’m sure once he finds it there will be a time when greed comes in his life.”

“You seem to be over him as it sounds like you can easily talk about him now.”

“What you see and how it seems like to your eyes doesn’t necessarily make it true,” Junsu seemed to have sighed as he walked to wards his closed to get his shoes. “As a matter of fact, what I feel for him right now is exactly the opposite of what you said. I don’t think I’ll ever get over him, neither am I going to let go even though I said I would. He’s going to come to me Jaejoong. Probably not now but time will answer all questions I suppose. I’m merely going to step back to give him space.”

“You seem to have thought about this for a while now. I know I’m not suppose to say this but…Junsu you’re too adorable.”

“Jae, of course I’m adorable. I know there are always different times for praises like those and to tell you the truth; I’m not in the mood right now to hear that at all.”

“I see,” Jaejoong laughed softly. “You are in the process of readying and clearing your head I suppose?”

“As business men of our standards, we have only room in our minds for success and a complete mask to hide our emotions. That way, we’ll be invincible.”

Jaejoong stared in awe as Junsu stood before him placing the most expensive watch on his wrist and two pure golden rings embedded with diamonds on his slim fingers.

“Don’t stare too much or you’ll fall for me Jaejoong. I’ll feel bad for your poor Yunho.”

“Say what?” Jaejoong was flustered at Junsu’s comment. “What kind of sick joke is that?” he paused and then added an insult. “You bastard. Who told you to crack a joke while I’m at my spacing out phase?”

“That’s why I cracked a joke. You can’t space out Jae. You might get shot for all we know.” Junsu smirked at him as he used a hand gesture to indicate they were leaving. “So shall we?”

It was definitely time to leave. With guns underneath their suits, and communication gadgets clipped on their ears, they headed out the apartment door.

This situation has been prolonged long enough. This menacing wild game has now officially begun. 



************* END

A/N:
eyyy everyone. How's it going?! MISHHUUU MISHHUU!! (MISS YOUU) FIRSTLY, i have to apologize for not updating. T_T"  Right now, I am suffering from major brain fart and diarrhea. hahaha. I just finished writing diplomas and midterms I can't even think straight. I think I had an overdose from reading too much books and smart things for the brain. BRAINNN FARRTT. @_@" anyways, enough about me. How's everyone doing?! Hope you guys can lemmme know what's beeen going on with yourselves and how you're liking everything so far! WE HAVENT CHATTED IN A WHILE. *feels lonely by herself*

AND OMG. SO, recently, I'm actually feeling proud over my yaoi manga collection. AHAHA~ So I made a page where I recommend a wholee lot of good and yummy things to read. I haven't updated recently but I think I will on friday when I get home from a meeting so feel free to visit. XD SITE IS: http://princessmiaa.tumblr.com/

& to all my new readers, welcome welcome welcoooome!! commenting is really a great time for us to get to know each other well. I know i've been getting a lot of adds for the past few days so I do appreciate that my new readers come talk to me. DONT WORRY, i dont bite. nyahahaha.  

P.S. have you guys heard of my new laugh yet? XD "nyungnyungnyungnyung~" it's my evil laugh. LOL. eff im sorry for being weird.

And because I'm still getting over rehab of studying too much, lemme introduce to you a quote I read just two seconds ago. Yes I know I'm nerdy for putting this up but i thought it was pretty cute. Smile I don't know if you guys will get this but I FUCKING GET IT. Very Happy

"Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet. Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer, but never could be together."

If you don't get it though... you might be too young for nc-17 stories.
pffffffft, who am i kidding?! hahaha. indulge yourselves!!
&That's it for me. Very Happy if you wanna talk some more, you can comment and we'll chatttttt. Very Happy
Till next time! Lots of loves from 3ternallove! <3

3ternallove

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

Post by 3ternallove on 12/11/2012, 7:06 pm

Chapter 22: Love Over Pride

Yoochun sighed as he collectedly paced himself up the stairs to Junsu’s mansion. It hasn’t been at least forty eight hours since he last got kicked out of here but now, he’s finding himself entering this suffocating house once again. What if he sees that man again?

On impulse he allowed himself to think irrationally and just walk right over! It was a foolish mistake for him to decide and now he’s slowly regretting his verdict

Reaching the entrance, a guard approached him without any hesitation.

“Sir, are you here for the gathering?” the man interrogated him. “Or are you simply looking around?”

“Don’t worry. I’m a guest,” he cleanly replied with a bit of hesitation. There was no backing out now.

“A new face here I suppose?”

“Yes,” he replied with the same answer. “I’m from the States.”

The guard started to mumble as he flipped through the papers on his hand. “And your name sir?”

“Park—“ He stopped himself from busting his true identity already. “Jeo Chung-hee. A close friend of mine, Kim Jaejoong, has invited me to join him regarding business matters.”

“I’ll need to see your invitation, sir,” the guard told him as he stared at him skeptically.

Yoochun in turn gave it to him calmly and without any hesitance.

“Alright Mr. Jeo. Please hold while we look at your background information,” the guard said out loud as he flipped through paper after paper. After finding the name, he quickly smiled and bowed in front of him. “Sorry for my rudeness for forgetting sir. A note on your file has been placed here by Mr. Kim Jaejoong, and it seems you’re the man he has ordered me to brief for a moment before you enter.”

Yoochun in alarm raised his left brow.

“Since it’s your first time, Mr. Kim has ordered me to explain to you the expectations of this gathering. He also said that he had strict commands for you to follow.”

“Commands?” the blue eyed man asked with calmness of mind. “Excuse me?”

“As there are guests coming in, I don’t have enough time. But since it’s an order from above, I have to follow. So let me speak without interruptions.” He paused to continue on to his objective to give instructions. “First, you must go up the second floor as soon as you enter. That place is for the VIP’s only and it would be much appreciated if you remained upstairs for the majority of your time spent in this place. As you are a special guest and a big share holder of the Kim Enterprises, each VIP has a table for himself accompanied by his chosen guests. However, these guests have been especially picked by Mr. Kim Jaejoong himself, and he hopes that you will like your company and continue to entertain them. So I’ll open the doors for you and please don’t hesitate to relax in your environment.”

Yoochun’s knees could only shake in nervousness and at the same time frustration. Nervousness for not knowing what’s happening and what’s going to happen and frustration for letting Jaejoong toy with him like this. He could only watch as the guard opened the door for him.

Shaking his head, he walked on and up the stairs to find his seat and also this company the guard has mentioned to him. Was it Changmin? Or maybe was it Jung Yunho?

Finding his way to the stairs was a very difficult task. There were too many eyes staring at him. Too many men with at least a couple of women wrapped around their arms, giggling and smiling as they intently gazed at his every move.

It made him hesitant to swallow his saliva or even to breathe. Jaejoong was definitely right about this intimidation subject and holding his own ground. It was not a lie.


***************

Reaching the top of the stairs, one of the staff greeted him once again. “Jeo Chung-hee?” a woman dressed in almost like business attire called out his alias.

He breathed once again before responding to turn to her. His role play has now officially begun. “Is there a problem miss?” he asked as he took the girl’s hand and kissed it.

She blushed a flush red color as she quickly retracted her hand away. “If you excuse me, Mr. Jeo. Master Kim J-jaejoong has told me to lead you to your table.”

“Thank you for your time,” he smiled as he looked at her with those deep blue eyes of his. He knew everyone fell for him. He knew exactly that. And this was definitely something he was now grateful to have for this night. Although the reason that he came here is a bit perplex, the fact that he is here meant that he had the want and need to change himself. Maybe he also came here for answers…and maybe to see him…?

With his actions towards her, the girl could only cover up her smile with her hands as a response and walked ahead to lead him to his table.

As he walked, he took the chance to look around. There was definitely a great change within this mansion in a short time. It became brighter and became more flawless than ever before. There were now booths set up around the edge of the second floor to fit for at least eight people. Some were filled up, and some were just enjoyed alone. These were probably the tables they mentioned before.

There was definitely a change of perfection with the first floor to the second floor. As to the first, there were a lot of people gathered, standing around, chatting and talking. But as to the second, there weren’t any people standing but sitting inside their booths— a half circled black sofa with a table in the middle. This floor was refined perfection—a great indication of the change of class.

“Here’s your table Mr. Jeo,” the woman smiled at him professionally. “And Mr. Kim Jaejoong also wants me to remind you to stay in this table until the right moment comes.”

‘The right moment?’ What is the right moment? Even in confusion, Yoochun could only nod. But his calmness and patience only lasted until he saw the people sitting at his booth.

It wasn’t Changmin.

It wasn’t Yunho either.

There were six of them.

Six gorgeous women dressed in refined yet sultry clothes.

He could only shake his head sideways in frustration but for the purpose of this ‘game’, he pasted a gentle smile on his face as he presented himself to these women.“Sorry for the wait,” he spoke casually as he looked at the ground playfully running his index finger through his lips.

“Come sit,” one of the girls at the middle of the half circled sofa spoke. All of them made room for him to sit right at the middle.

He didn’t want to get into an awkward situation. Jeo Chung-hee is a player—a woman eater for crying out loud.

As if right on call, right when he crossed his legs and laid back, a girl on his right greeted him with a deep kiss. It surprised him. Usually, he’d push a girl away like this, but today, he wasn’t Park Yoochun. He was someone else. And so, to reply back with his own greeting, he kissed back. It took about thirty seconds for the girl to stop kissing him but when she finally did, he smiled at her and grabbed an empty wine glass to hold up. “Shall we drink?” he playfully smiled at his company.

It was going to be a long night.

*******************

“We’re late,” Junsu stated as he got off the black Ferrari Jaejoong owned. In his annoyance, he slammed the door shut, fixing his nicely tailored tux right after. “Damn it Jaejoong. You gave me a guarantee that we won’t be late.”

“You don’t need to worry about being ten minutes late,” the blonde haired man replied as he tossed the car keys to the guards for parking. “Men of our standards should always be fashionably late. And as a matter of fact,” he paused to pat Junsu’s back, “we both can use a dramatic entrance from time to time right?”

“The last thing I want right now is a dramatic entrance Jae,” Junsu annoyingly retorted as he swatted Jaejoong’s hands away from him. He started to rush up the stairs not wanting to be any second later than they already were. “Let’s go Jae. You can’t keep on spacing out like that. I already told you before. You’re going to get shot.”

“How exciting,” Jaejoong grinned as he took his time up the stairs following Junsu who was already in front of the closed doors.

“You really don’t have time to fool around Jae. You know that I know your exact thoughts right now.”

“But do you really think you know what you think I’m thinking?”

Junsu scoffed at his friend’s game. He decided to ignore him and talked to the guard before the entrance. “Open the door for us.”

“Yes sir,” the guards automatically followed directions. As he was about to turn to the door, he eyed the blonde haired man for a second and gave a slight signal of success with a thumbs up.

Jaejoong grinned as he walked towards Junsu with his head hung low.

There. He saw the signal.

Yoochun was here.


As the doors slowly opened, Jaejoong just casually talked to Junsu about everything light hearted to chill the mood. For immediately, as their faces were revealed to the crowd of people inside, the atmosphere grew bitter. So many familiar faces here but as predicted, Choi Siwon was nowhere in sight.

“Attention everyone!” the guard began to introduce the party’s important guest that had just arrived. “Let us welcome to the floor, the future heir of the Kim Enterprises, Kim Junsu and our organizer of the night, Kim Jaejoong.” Clapping was heard everywhere, and smiles were seen plastered across everyone’s faces.

“Well, well,” Jaejoong could only laugh coldly at Junsu’s ear. “Look at all those gossipers. People here really can’t mind their own business!”

“Does it bother you Jae?” Junsu whispered at his right ear as he also continued to walk.

“If it’s about my gorgeous looks then I don’t mind it at all Su,” the blonde haired man grinned and stood by his side. “All eyes on me.” He joked around.

“I’m going to the second floor already. I’d rather watch from above than become food to the wild boars here. Do whatever you want right now but don’t make too much of a ruckus.”

“You’re going to your seat already?” Jaejoong asked him in panic. Yoochun was in the second floor as well. Meeting too early might cause a lot of trouble. “I know the VIP’s are upstairs but why don’t you enjoy a different company this year.” He added on to secretly convince him not to go upstairs yet.

“I’ll come down when I have the need to,” Junsu sighed. “I need a drink.”

“Alright then,” Jaejoong sighed. Yoochun is in for the worst from Junsu tonight but if God wills that they meet now, then he could not do anything about it. They were bound to meet anyways.

Jaejoong looked a little to his left as he gave out a gaze of disappointment but that only lasted until his eye caught a familiar silhouette. “We still have more than an hour left to do whatever we want. So go do your thing in your own terms and I’ll do mine in my own terms.” He said this as he spotted a familiar figure at the bar just sipping away his troubles.

“Of course Jae,” Junsu smirked as he shook his head sideways, also eyeing what Jaejoong had found for himself. He headed for the stairs.

**************

Yunho sat cross legged at the glamorous bar of the party as he swirled and drank his wine to lighten up his mood. What an amazing sight this whole event was. It’s a gathering so perfect down to its last spec of finest dust. This was definitely going to be one hell of a night.

As soon as he took a step in this place, it felt as if he was already scanned by millions of solemn eyes judging him from afar. They were too heavy for just a simple greeting. Just from these, the seriousness of the atmosphere hit him with a slap the moment he stepped through those impenetrable doors.

There was definitely a mix of everything here—a mix well blended together that will make one sweat just by standing; A party so tense yet relaxed—ominous yet exciting—dangerous yet harmless—it all hit him in one go.

He classily took a sip on his drink once again drowning these apprehensive thoughts away.

Of course he had a choice whether he should go or not since he wasn’t a fan of these types of events. They were too overbearing for him. It also wasn’t his style.

But this year, he wanted to go.

He definitely had a motive alright.

To meet that high and mighty man to give him a piece of his mind, that’s what it was. Of all the people who could joke around with loving him, it had to be a man—and also a very persuasive guy too! Too many times, he had almost fallen for it. Everything about that jerk bugged his entire being! Why did ‘he’ have to say those words? Those three words—I love you—Pick me—I’ll protect you—shouldn’t be so carelessly thrown around! And as a man of common courtesy, you cannot just easily throw those promising things and then leave for more than three days without following up with something! What the hell was that bastard thinking?

He paused his rant and laughed at himself. He sounded like a girl in love.

And why the hell was he getting so worked up about it?

He couldn’t even say the jerk’s name. Every time he did, a picture of him smirking with that domineering presence would pop in his head! A lot of bothersome things have been bugging him these past few days and his sleepless nights have been too rough on him too. And it’s all thanks to a very conceited guy.

Kim Jaejoong.

Kim Jaejoong.

Kim.

Jaejoong!

There! He said it or at least mouthed it out loud.

Three times too!

“Kim Jaejoong must be a pretty lucky lover,” an anonymous blonde haired man spoke as he gently slid his slender finger up and down the stem of his wine glass.

Yunho turned around at the sudden comment. The voice sounded so familiar but he never really pinpointed it.

“Excuse me?” he scoffed.

“Is it nice?” another question was thrown at him from the man who didn’t even bother turning his way or even showing him the front view of his face. “Considering how this guy is managing to get under your skin so much, it must mean that you think about him numerous times in a day.” A soft laugh erupted from him.

“You know it’s pretty rude to chat about my personal life when we don’t even know each other,” Yunho bluntly answered as he scanned the guy. His features were stunning—platinum blond hair to bring out some color from his pale skin, his nose nicely structured, and eyes well suited for his face. Yunho’s heart started to race just at the sight of this anonymous man. His presence definitely is similar to someone he knew but there was no way this guy is the real Jaejoong. He would have been all over his face already like the annoying brat that he was.

“Well, since we’re only going to meet once, knowing my name would be such a waste. I prove a point right?” the man spoke breaking Yunho’s thoughts apart.

There was silence that filled the air in between them. It was rude to stare so Yunho just sat there beside the man he apparently didn’t know and sneaked glances whenever he could. He knew he should not get too curious because too much staring might cause him to be caught and questioned. Instead, he initiated a conversation realizing how rude he must have been.

“Jung Yunho, currently first in line for the Jung Enterprises,” he suddenly said to lighten up the mood between him and this surprisingly striking man. “I apologize for—“

“Save it for later… Mr. Jung, is it?” the man suavely rejected as he pushed away formally the hand that Yunho has reached out to him for a greeting. He didn’t even bother looking. He just stared at his drink, sat down like the rich man he was and charismatically drank it. “So this Kim Jaejoong…” the man paused to smile, “excuse me for this personal question but is he your lover?”

“Are you not bothered about gay people?” Yunho questioned him raising a brow.

“It all depends on love right? Well it must be love for you,” the blonde haired man gently and boldly spoke. Not once did he stare at Yunho, the man who he talked to. It felt like he was talking to his wine glass rather than to him. The striking man began to talk again breaking Yunho’s thoughts. “I mean, at the end of the day, it all comes down to how much you love and care for that special someone.”

So this guy is a romanticist. Yunho scoffed on the inside. He could not believe he was talking about personal matters with a random man and also at a pompous party like this. But after hearing those last words, he couldn’t help but agree to it—he couldn’t help but feel comfortable believing those words. The man had a mature front that he admired.

“So do you love this Kim Jaejoong?” the nameless high class man asked in curiosity starting the conversation once again.

“Well…” Yunho paused and was hesitant to just go along with the conversation. But with a huge sigh, he finally gave in. “I really don’t know if I’m in denial but the truth is, I have no plans of falling in love so early in my life,” he answered pretty openly. “I’ve been into so many relationships but no one by far has been able to meet my expectations. Most of the time, I find them so pointless and…” he stopped to find the right word, “how should I say…bland?”

“It seems as if the legendary secretary does not succeed in the line of love.” He laughed and spoke so casually as if he already knew him. “No one is meeting your expectations? Hmm… You know there’s only one solution to that right?”

“What do you suggest?” Yunho laughed, intrigued by the notion.

“If no one is meeting your expectations, then don’t expect! I think that’s all there is to it,” the man said with a tinge of a joking tone. “Take it as it is and just enjoy it. Maybe by looking at what they have and not what you want, you might find love in that don’t you think?”

“And see that?” Yunho scoffed, accepting the words that he heard. “That’s true and yet sometimes, it just really doesn’t work out. I’ve come to accept the reality of the love that doesn’t exist.”

“And that is also very true,” the man continued to face his drink, smiling at it as he swirled the wine in his glass. “Do you find Kim Jaejoong bland?” he continued. “I’m very curious to know why a man of such high status like him is in love with someone like you. Could it be that he is such a sweet guy after all?”

“Are you kidding? Sweet?” Yunho blurted out. “I don’t want to spoil his perfect figure but I can summarize him in three words.”

“And those words are…?”

“Pervert. Brat. Asshole. My summary of everyone’s highly regarded secretary. I really don’t understand why someone of high caliber as him is in love with someone not so great like me. He casually says the words “I love you” which I’m sure he doesn’t mean since he never took the chance to call me and explain himself. How could he say that to someone he barely knows…heck I barely know him. He’s too playful about relationships to the point where I don’t know if he’s kidding, bluffing or if he’s actually serious. And…” Before he could say anymore, he realized that he was talking too much for his own good. Seizing this awkward opportunity, he took a hold of his sanity and grasped it tight. His lips followed in pursuit and were zipped together in an instant. “Sorry for that very passionate speech,” he gently laughed for making a fool out of himself in front of this man.

The unidentified man could only cover his mouth with the back of his hand and laughed. “A pervert, a brat and an asshole? Good descriptions.”

Yunho frowned at his stupidity. If only he could walk away now, he would take it in a flash.

“Now I definitely understand why he is so into you. You have the greatest reactions. Only a straight man would not fall in love with you. And fortunately for you,” the man paused for an instant but continued to smile widely in amusement, “I’m not straight. And I’m honestly falling in love with you the more we talk. You, Jung Yunho, I feel, is the most compatible with me. And what do you say?”

There was a pause once again. However this time, it wasn’t awkward. Their presence blended well with each other as if blowing away the tense atmosphere around them. It was as if there was only the two of them existing in their own little world.

“Thanks I guess,” Yunho oblivious to the situation and took it as a joke.

“Very amusing indeed,” the man continued to laugh some more. “You are really out of it,” he commented.

“Amusing?” Yunho raised his brow.

“Don’t mind me,” the man smiled. “But hearing you passionate rant about this guy did make me realize something a bit important.”

Another moment of silence hit them both. A conversation of personal love life did not exactly fit the atmosphere of this gathering.

“So what if he is serious about you?” the man finally asked. “Because from the sound of it, you’re just afraid to get hurt.”

Yunho smiled a sincere smile and the other man noticed it as well. But it soon faded as he held on firmly to reality. “He wouldn’t be. He’s an asshole,” Yunho finally said out loud. “And of course, I still have to be cautious right? Because for the most part, I’m pretty sure everyone at some general point is afraid to get hurt.

The man laughed. “An asshole again huh?” He shook his head sideways still highly amused. “But what if he is?” he further on questioned.

“Then it will probably become a relationship that can be given a chance. But that is just probably though and only if he is serious,” Yunho answered back making sure he was emphasizing the right words to the guy who was listening to him. He continued on. “However in this case, I’m 99.9% sure he will never be and I guess the reason why I’m so frustrated is because his words make me waver but I perfectly know he’s just playing around with me.”

“So you are in love,” the man said bluntly. “It takes 100% for you to reject someone. A chance is a chance as I say, if it’s not zero then it can still turn into something big. Small as it is, I would jump for that chance any day,” the man laughed pinpointing his exact feelings. “Don’t worry,” he continued to sound so sure, “I’m positive this Kim Jaejoong knows what he’s doing and that he wouldn’t do anything he hasn’t given a thought to. I mean, how could an intelligent man do something so irrational right?” the man set down his finished wine glass for the last time and stood up to leave. “From my biased opinion though, I’m pretty sure he takes you quite seriously!” And as he said this, he charismatically straightened up his slightly wrinkled suit and walked along, away from Yunho.

“Leaving now?” Yunho questioned trying to get a glance at the man’s face but failed for he could only see the man’s back.

“Yeah, I don’t want to stay in one place too long. This party is too big of a place to stay and chat with only one man right?” And without any good byes, the man just left with his back towards him for the whole entire time.

Yunho scoffed and shook his head sideways. It surprised him how well he was able to open up to this guy who will forever be a complete stranger to him.

He sat there for a bit just thinking. Maybe it’s about time he gave Jaejoong a chance. His heart fluttered at his decision and a smile formed on his face. All his frustrations just seemed to disappear with one decision. He was scared but maybe that 0.01% chance might just turn into something significant later.

“Mr. Kim Jaejoong!” Yunho heaerd a short stout man called out just right beside where he sat. Right after hearing this, Yunho’s smile disappeared as if, literally put into words, erased from his face. Instead, he was flustered. He knew that Jaejoong was close but he wasn’t ready to tell him of his decision since he just made it. Yunho’s eyes scanned the room like a hawk looking quickly for traces of this man that he wanted to see

“Mr. Kim Jaejoong!” he heard again from a big rounded man who called out right beside him. Jaejoong must be close but why the hell couldn’t he see him?

He scanned the room for a charismatic raven haired man and also for a response from the crowd.

There was nothing. His eyes couldn’t easily spot him as quickly as he usually did. His eyes kept on getting drawn to that strange blond haired man that just stood still at the center of the room. If only he could just get a good look at his face. He looked strangely familiar to him.

“Secretary Kim!” the man once again shouted out but this time, walked towards his destination. And as if right on cue, Yunho curiously looked and noticed where the man was heading. “Kim Jaejoong!” he heard the man say once again as he reached out his hand for a greeting towards the blonde haired man at the center of the crowd.

The shock came like a glass shattering into pieces.

Kim Jaejoong is the guy—the fucking guy he was foolishly pouring out his feelings at.

He is now, for a fact, the biggest fool of this party.

He watched flabbergasted with his jaw reaching the ground as Jaejoong greeted, shook hands and talked with his guests that quickly surrounded him so easily and flawlessly. It seems his new hairdo has made people spot him so easily but he was the only one who wasn’t up to date with this new look.

They caught each other’s eye.

The words ‘What the fuck?’ and ‘What the hell just happened?’ rang and boiled out of his mind. And without realizing it due to his anger and shock, his feet automatically stood up and headed for the door. There was no point of continuously making a fool of himself any longer. There were no longer any words he wished to believe.

Pushing his chair out forcefully to get up, he looked at the ground with tears of anger and disappointment about to fall from his eyes.

Jaejoong had fooled him till the very end and fooled him hard.

He needed to get out of here. He knew he was hurt but the reason was still shapeless to him. What was he expecting anyways from a player and the most famous secretary in all of Korea?

Kim Jaejoong would forever be the joker and he would be forever the fool who knew and yet believed.

With long strides, Yunho walked in a hurry out of this foreboding place. He took it step after step but with the upcoming tears welling up in his eye, he failed to notice the waiter in front of him. All of a sudden, he was knocked down on the ground along with glasses of wine spilling over most of the areas of his white shirt.

And down he went. He was completely wet. His hair, his face, his shirt and pants were all covered by a layer of different types of alcohol. Today was not a very good day for him.

Yunho could only breathe in embarrassment, anger and hurt.

He could feel the waiter trying to wipe his face, his shirt, his sleeves…everything. He could hear the muffled sorry and whispers coming from the waiter but he didn’t care about those at all. Those voices felt so distant to him.

Kim Jaejoong had played with him once again and succeeded. Relationships weren’t meant to last. Love is just pain sugar coated by millions of layers. They would always be just simple add ons to relieve carnal pleasures.

“Alright,” a voice spoke from behind him. “Let’s not make this the centre of the party shall we?” Jaejoong clapped twice which got everyone’s attention to him. “As we get cleaned up here, let’s take this time to listen to the live band we have hired all the way from France.”

As the band started to play it’s sweet jazz music, the man took this time to face Yunho and kneeled in one leg as he got down to his level. They looked each other in the eye but did not speak for that moment in time.

“Sorry about that Mr. Jung,” he told him with a smile. Jaejoong’s words were loud and crisp to Yunho’s ears compared to everyone’s murmurs. “Let’s go upstairs so that you can clean up alright? Follow me.”

Noticing how he didn’t respond to anything, Jaejoong took a hold of his hand. But Yunho did not budge at all. Instead, a tear fell from his eyes.

Shocked at this reaction, Jaejoong’s smile disappeared and a look of worry overcame his face. His jokes went too far today it seemed. “Are you alright, Mr. Jung? Would you like to get cleaned?”

Getting tired from all these lies, Yunho just told him off and as much as he could, kindly and calmly rejected his offer. “I think I’m done for the night. I’ll retire early.” And as soon as he said these words, he got up and attempted to turn around and leave but Jaejoong wasn’t willing to back off.

“Sir!” the waiter yelled out and bowed at him. “I’m deeply sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you.”

“No need to apologize,” Yunho smiled at him trying to hold back the anger that was welling up. “It was I who was the foolish one bumping into you.”

But why was he so sad? He felt like a girl that got her heart broken even though nothing really happened. He felt terribly disappointed.

Tears started to pool. But before they could fall, a hand reached out from behind and forcefully took hold of his hand.

In shock, Yunho’s feelings numbed to the point where the sadness and the hurt that overflowed his senses were blown away by the wind. A strong arm pulled his body so that he would face the other way.

“Mr. Jung, please let me take care of you,” Jaejoong smiled gently as he hid his desperation to keep Yunho beside him. He knew if he lets go of this hand now, Yunho will be gone from him and will be out of reach.

Trying to hide his heart, Yunho hardened it so that not a single thing could be able to affect it. And so with the emptiest words he could muster up, he said, “there is no need for you to worry. I’ll be fine. So, I’ll decline your offer.” As he let out these words, he brushed off Jaejoong’s hands off his own. He was tired. He knew at this point, they would easily be brushed away.

But once again, he thought wrong.

Instead, this Kim Jaejoong held his hands tighter as if almost crushing it. It held him in place as the blond haired man got closer to him. And once close enough, he whispered words that only the two of them could hear.

“If you leave now, I will ravage your lips in front of these people until they are swollen, then I’ll make sure your father’s company goes bankrupt by the end of tonight. So stay. Let’s chat,” Jaejoong’s threatening words were desperate. There was no way he could let Yunho go now.

Those words did not sound like the cool and calm Jaejoong. They were icy to the point where each word pricked and froze his heart.

Yunho stopped at the sound of those threatening words. It sent chills down his spine as if the devil itself got a hold of his heart, his gut, and his mind. “Have it your way then.”

It was a cry of desperation. All Jaejoong needed was Yunho to hear him out.

“I really insist you get cleaned up,” he now spoke out loud so that everyone was able to hear his request. “Just follow me.”

Flabbergasted, Yunho silently followed. There were no more words left to speak. He knew he had to harden his heart so that this won’t happen to him again. He was not willing to trust this joker any more.

*************

As soon as the doors closed to the vacant room, Jaejoong’s hands were immediately thrown off by Yunho’s arms. He could see the man’s blank and emotionless face.

Jaejoong sighed at the mess he created. “You know Mr. Jung, as much as I love you, we can’t talk properly if you’re as blank as a white sheet of paper,” Jaejoong said as he approached the irritated Yunho.

“I love you? What do those words mean to you for you to let them go so casually? Jaejoong…” Yunho paused to recollect his sanity, “or should I say Mr. Kim Jaejoong, I’ve really had enough of you for tonight and for the rest of my life so I’m going to make a request.”

There was silence once more for Jaejoong. As much as he could, he tried not to interrupt Yunho to hear him out well. He was really at fault for playing around too much.

“I know this is all just a game to you. And I know its fun making a fool of someone with a lower status like me. There are plenty of guys better than I so I suggest giving up now. Plus, I’m also sick and tired of myself always wondering if what you tell me is true or not. I’m sick and tired of you always treating me like someone less than you that you can toy with everyday. And I’m fucking sick and tired of this bullshit. So please, Jaejoong, for the sake of my sanity, don’t ever show your face in front of me again.” Yunho stopped to breathe and as he closed his eyes shut with his finger at his temple. He breathed and calmed himself down. He breathed and let his emotions sink down into the abyss of his heart.

Seeing no response from Jaejoong, Yunho shook his head sideways in disappointment and turned around. But before he could reach for the doorknob, he heard those sharp words again that made him stop in his tracks.

“Did you get everything off your chest Yunho?” Jaejoong with a sharp tongue said to him. “Satisfied? Happy even?”

Brushing these words off, Yunho just continued to walk away as he now twisted the knob of the door.

“This is an unfair situation Yunho,” Jaejoong in defeat sat down on the nearest chair at the bedside. “I let you speak your hurtful words towards me and then you leave without any given explanation from me. How about let’s both settle this love problem like mature people and just talk without anyone walking out? Just hear me out. I know I still have that 0.1% chance and like I said, I’m holding on to it strongly. Although I was joking around with you, my words were not a lie. None of them were.”

Yunho turned his way and bit his lip as he decided whether he should stay or not.

“Come on,” Jaejoong smiled gently at him. He knew it wasn’t the time to act like his playful self. It would have been fun but Yunho seemed like he was at his wits end already. It’s time for a break.

“Sit,” he said as he pointed to the other empty chair at the wall opposite from him. “I can’t do anything to you but shoot you with a gun from the distance between you and I. So, if you’re cautious about me, be rest assured that you’re still safe from my overbearing self. I can’t even touch you either or bite your ear or do anything you dislike. So, sit.”

Yunho was torn but hearing this unusual tone of voice from Jaejoong made him want to reconsider. If he stays, then it would only be just out of pity. It’s not for himself. He’s just giving the man the chance to talk.

And so making this decision, he slowly let go of the door knob and walked to the seat directly opposite of where Jaejoong was sitting.

“Have it your way,” Yunho sighed. And like what he was commanded to do, he sat like an obedient boy and surprisingly, it calmed his breathing to a slow.

“Alright. Thank you for kindly giving me the pity service,” Jaejoong laughed at himself as he stood up to pour himself a glass of hard liquor at the table beside him. “Since I have time, let’s play a game. The winner gets to decide the final outcome to this relationship of ours.”

Yunho sighed. “Jaejoong, you know I sat so we could talk. I’m not in whatsoever in the mood to play games at all.”

“Hey it’s your call,” Jaejoong simply talked as he leaned on the table. “I just thought that since you are unwilling to speak now, it would be better to find out your feelings through my words and actions. I think you might be surprised with the result. Until I’m given the permission, I won’t touch you so don’t worry.”

“So what is this game?” Yunho curiously asked. As much as he questioned Jaejoong, there was really no spark in his eye to keep on going at this moment in time.

“It’s easy. I’m just going to explain myself and also answer your questions. But as I do, I will walk closer to where you are. If you want to reject me or dislike my explanation and answers, feel free to say the word ‘stop’ and you can just walk out of here without any explanations what-so-ever. However, once I hold your hand, I win.” Jaejoong explained. Fair game right?”

Yunho sighed with his eyes looking low. “Alright, you win. Let’s play then.” He shrugged his shoulders not expecting much of it at all.

Hearing the approval that Jaejoong wished for, Jaejoong quickly sipped his liquor and placed the glass down back at the table. He stood from his chair and took slow small steps as he breathed and talked.

“I love you Yunho. That’s all there is to it.”

Jaejoong took that first step and with that first step and first opening line, Yunho’s eyes widened. There was no turning back now.

“I’m not sure why you’re so confused about my feelings. But I guess, only knowing each other for a short amount of time can be a good enough reason. But I’m sincere,” Jaejoong looked at him in the eye and sighed as a way to pass seconds in time. “Every word I said, even if they didn’t sound the way you wanted it to be, I was fucking serious…” Jaejoong laughed. He was embarrassed at the thought of this game but he sucked it up even if it went against his personality. He took more steps as slowly as he could. “I was being immature about it but that’s how I built myself. It’s a personality I’ve built and fit in so well that it all became too easy for me to act it out...and at times, it’s become natural,” Jaejoong stopped his steps for a bit, turned around facing away from Yunho, squatted and covered his face with his hands in attempts to hide his emotions.

“It looks like I didn’t have to say stop,” Yunho chuckled at his attempt. “Is the game over? You only took two steps.” Yunho swayed his head sideways in disappointment and was ready to head out but a sudden laugh came from Jaejoong who was still across the room.

Jaejoong laughed and continued to laugh. Half a minute passed and finally, he stood up slowly and looked at Yunho, meeting his eyes with much more determination.

“I must be fucking crazy. So crazy,” Jaejoong spoke as he shook his head as an action of disgust with what he was doing. “What am I doing, a wealthy famous man, walking on a thin line, begging and almost kneeling just to get a man’s approval!” Jaejoong continued to silently chuckle as he made fun of himself. “Never in my lifetime have I dreamed of this happening but that’s just it!” he continued on, “I am crazy! I’ve been so crazy about you that all I could do was hold onto my status quo tighter and that meant, to try to not let you inside my head. I know from experience that I could not trust anyone. I cannot trust anyone because this is how people like me become successful! And that look on your face right now is the exact same look I have but now, I’m fucking petrified since you’re aiming this look at me! At this stage of my life, I’ve been bruised and beaten up to the ground but after I wore this fake mask… guess what? Nobody was able to take advantage of me and I always had the upper hand. People couldn’t read my thoughts and there was no way they could enter…” Jaejoong paused to recollect his thoughts. “But I’ve become so lonely Yunho. I’ve become a man who only has money!” Jaejoong took more steps and closed his eyes to stop the coming tears from even pooling. He was getting fidgety but he gritted his teeth and took them nice and slow.

“The reason why you’re so compatible with me is because out of every overbearing thing that I’ve done to you—knowing my brutality and ruthlessness, I still found you because you kept yourself within my reach. And being with you as a part of my adventure, my life has had another level of excitement. So for once in my life, I actually enjoyed living!” Jaejoong this whole time smiled. But it was not just a smile of happiness. It was a smile full of fear, embarrassment, determination and desperation. “I’m not going to give up my mask. That much I can tell you because I want to challenge this cruel world that I was placed in. But most importantly, playing this game, I just wanted to tell you the truth and to probably straighten up your thoughts about me…” Jaejoong took a second to breathe and then continued on with a slightly annoyed face at the memory he recalled. “So, you said earlier that I’m a fucking pervert?” He laughed. “But you know, that’s only because you leave your guard down so much when I’m around that I get so tempted to steal you away from everyone…” Jaejoong paused and again recalled more complaints that Yunho ranted to him when they had their first encounter at the bar. He laughed but continued on and took more steps towards Yunho. “You also said that I was an asshole which I think is fucking right but I’m an asshole that loves you. I don’t think I’ll be an overbearing asshole for long but you’d rather prefer nice guys? Boring nice guys? Maybe that’s why you think relationships are so bland. Nice guys and nice girls are too cliché. And what you probably want is someone like me. I’ll be the adventure of your fucking life.” Jaejoong breathed and took more steps. “You say that I didn’t contact you but why am I the only one that has the right to call you? Why couldn’t you take the hint that I was also waiting for your call? It’s not like I didn’t give you my phone number!” Another pause occurred as silence engulfed them both into deep thought.

Yunho tried to absorb it. What Jaejoong was telling him was true. He was always looking for someone who would spark a fire within him. Boring nice guys wouldn’t be the best and obedient and annoying girls like Seulgi would just drive him to suicide. He wasn’t really doing much work since he expected Jaejoong to do everything. He could have definitely called if he was unsure but didn’t. Jaejoong gave the ball to his court by saying the words ‘I love you’ but how could he not have thought of it that way before?

“You say that you’re not even fit because you don’t belong in my caliber—And once again you’re fucking right because you’ve mistaken me for some high pedigreed horse! But in fact I’m the lowest of the lowly human being out there and I’m the one unfit to be with you. And right now…” Jaejoong spoke as he continued to let every complaint go out of his lips as he walked closer and closer, “I, Kim Jaejoong, don’t have anything but money, fame and pride. That’s all there is to me. And so the most expensive thing you can buy from me is my pride and it’s not even anything that money can buy. But I will bet this pride with my 0.01% chance in an all or nothing game with you. I will bet this just for you to realize that I’m so fucking in love with you!” Jaejoong breathed all these words out. It was an all or nothing battle for him. “It might look as if I say it so casually but you make it easy for me to say it. I say these words with no hesitations because give my all to things I’m passionate for. I don’t just give 10 or 50. This is all or nothing.”

“Jaejoong…” Yunho spoke out his name after hearing all of this. He was in a state of surprise as if someone just punched him out of his state. “I get it so just—”

“No, you fucking don’t! You don’t fucking get it!” Jaejoong continued to curse and curse. “And it’s because I haven’t even said these words enough so that they’ll be etched into your mind! And until it does, I’m going to keep on saying this to you so that you understand that I, Kim Jaejoong, love you.”

With that last step that he took, Jaejoong leaned in towards the sitting down Yunho and gently rested his arm to the wall beside his face. And as Yunho looked up to Jaejoong, their eyes met and a calming sensation hit the both of them as if all the shapeless emotions and answers finally came together and created a clear picture.

“I love you Jung Yunho. I love you. I love you…I love you… I lo—” Jaejoong was cut off before he could reach out to his hand.

“Stop,” Yunho evenly spoke this word out of his lips. “The game is over. Stop. No more. I don’t want to hear it anymore. Stop.” And with these words, Yunho could only push gently the surprised man away along with his outreached hand.

Jaejoong could only scoff. It was the biggest disappointment of his life. He was in complete utter shock that he couldn’t even retort back.

“What…?” he breathed out for he was sure Yunho understood perfectly. He could only back away slowly as he tried to breathe calmly. As tough as he could have made himself to be right now, his knees told the truth and gave in causing him to sit on the floor in shock. And as he looked down, Jaejoong listened as Yunho stood up and straightened out his suit.

“My god Jaejoong…” Yunho spoke as he just stood there looking at the defeated man in front of him. “Before getting all depressed like that you should hear out why I told you to stop. I get it. You fucking love me. And that’s the reason why I said stop. If I hear anymore sincere I love you’s then I won’t be able to let you go.” Yunho chuckled. “You really need your self confidence back. Right now, you’re acting like a nice guy. And I find that boring. Sorry, better luck next time,” Yunho chuckled as he headed towards the door. “I made myself too easy for you to fool. I’m smarter now that I know how you think. I’m So for the near future, you need to work harder, maybe even give me more than you 100.”

Jaejoong could only stare at the man flabbergasted at his actions and tone of voice.

Did he succeed or did he not succeed?

Jaejoong could only watch as Yunho walked out of the door. What the hell just happened? What was the conclusion? What the fuck?

He said all that he could. And to him, that was the best he could do. Maybe he failed…?

His thoughts were placed on a halt as the door opened once again. He looked at the direction of where the sound came from just to see Yunho’s head peaking in.

“I know I told you to stop. And you’re probably confused but I can also play games and be its referee. It was cute… your whole spill. Cute. Appreciated but at the same time, I also wanted to say. Thank you…” Yunho smiled and looked away from Jaejoong’s eyes. “And maybe I do love you too. Maybe.”

And the head that Jaejoong saw peaking out, disappeared quickly before he could even process all of what Yunho said.

His face formed a smile, then a chuckle which led to a laugh full of happiness and excitement. “Damn. Jung Yunho, you clearly are perfect for me. Shit.”

******************

3ternallove

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

Post by 3ternallove on 12/11/2012, 7:09 pm

Chapter 22 PART B

As Junsu trod up the stairs to the second floor for a drink, he was already greeted by a crowd of men inviting him to sit with them.

He could only sigh on the inside at his disinterest with business at this moment in time. In fact, he could even care less. But like usual, he was always driven by the wave of pressure that he always just ends up following these kinds of men anyways.

“So Mr. Kim, I was thinking of investing in your company in support of your growth as a whole,” one man stated as they walked together alone with three other men to their table.

“If you’re only thinking then I suggest finding a different company. I need people with resolute decisions. I don’t settle for “I was thinking” but more of “let’s do it”. So which company are you running?”

“Well, excuse me Mr. Kim,” the man apologized but annoyance was clearly painted on his face. “I’m Jun Lee the CEO of Starlite and I hope to become one of your business partner in the near future.”

“Listen, Jun Lee?” Junsu rubbed the back of his ear in annoyance. “Thinking and hoping are just futile words. Doing and taking action are the fists for a fist fight. I really don’t care for your business right now since your company will neither do us any good or bad. I don’t believe in safe travels. If I was interested in your company, I would be the one approaching you and not the other way around. So, if you may kindly leave, it’ll be greatly appreciated.”

Looking at each other eye to eye, Junsu never backed down and scoffed back instead. Following that, he snapped his finger.

“Maybe—“ the man tried to retort back but was cut off too early in the game.

“Enough,” Junsu said with a clear icy command.

Within a second and no delays at all, two bodyguards came to his bidding.

“Please take these four gentlemen down to the first floor. I have no intention in doing business right now.”

And without any hesitation at all, Junsu’s request was fulfilled. People with no ambition did not belong in his world.

After escorting those guests down to the main floor, the bodyguards came running back to him in a flash. “Is there anything else you need Mr. Kim Junsu?”

As Junsu was about to turn and dismiss his bodyguards, a man in a white suit two tables away caught his eye. It couldn’t be…

“Come with me,” Junsu commanded them as he walked towards this man with raging anger. “Get those women out of here. Quickly.”

Junsu watched as his body guards took the women by their hands roughly from the booth and dragged them out of there.

What the hell was he doing here?

Who let him in?

Jaejoong?

Junsu sighed as he headed towards the scene.

“Who are you guys?” the man in the white suit said out loud as he went out the booth trying to stop the commotion. “You should be gentle with women. They’re not as—”

“So be gentle with women?” Kim Junsu spoke coldly. “Does that mean I don’t have to be gentle with a man like you?” There was great silence as Yoochun soaked up all those words thrown at him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s none of your business…” Yoochun mumbled out as he looked away and broke eye contact with Junsu who now stood in front of him. Playing his role as Jeo Chung-hee now became even more challenging.

“Why are you here and who let you in?” he interrogated furiously as he walked closer Yoochun trying to catch his eye.

“Jaejoong…” Yoochun mumbled out again. “But I assure you he did not mean any harm…”

“You are already in harm! I let you walk away because I didn’t want you to stay in this never ending hole!” he explained still trying to catch Yoochun’s eyes from his face that looked away from him.

Yoochun couldn’t say anything and therefore, did not say anything. In truth, he just wanted to see him but he couldn’t say that now could he? What should he do? He couldn’t even look at his eyes. How does Jeo Chung-hee interact with someone of high status? There were too many people that caught this commotion and he didn’t want to give up his disguise and be known as Park Yoochun. People will realize and not even Jaejoong nor Junsu could help him. Heck, Junsu didn’t even know of this scheme Jaejoong put together since this guy has been bombarding him with questions already.

“Look at me,” Junsu commanded him as he questioned to why this man in front of him was here now. There was definitely no way he could get past the guards without the accompaniment of Jaejoong or himself unless…

Junsu smirked as he figured out this scheme. “Introduce yourself.”

"What?" Yoochun's eyes widened.

He was flabbergasted.

"Introduce yourself." Junsu commanded Yoochun as he figured out this scheme.

Yoochun ouldn’t say his real name in a conversation that attracted the attention of people within the 5 meter radius. It’s going to tarnish Junsu’s name for here in this party, everyone knew of each other. The name is what is important.

“Is this how you treat your friend, Kim Junsu?” He acted confidently, trying to hide his quivering lips. “Just because I didn’t tell you I was going to come, you start to lose your temper. Is this really the Kim Junsu I know?”

“What the hell are you doing?” Junsu questioned calculatingly, trying to place the pieces together.

“Well, you’re hurting my ladies so let’s start by ordering your guards to let go of their fragile hands and let’s talk,” Yoochun smiled, “privately, may I suggest?” He reached for Junsu’s hand and kissed it.

Junsu greatly shocked and offended, pulled his hand away from Yoochun’s and gave him a quick yet nipping slap on the face.

Junsu could only laugh. That kiss on the hand… there was only one man who would have the guts to do that in front of everyone and to him as well, first and foremost.

"That hurt," Yoochun smiled like a playboy, trying to hint Junsu of who he was.

“Oh God, you're supposed to be Jeo Chung-hee?” Junsu chuckled as placed the tips of his fingers at his temple. “God, what game are we playing here!”

And right when Junsu said his name, the level of whispers and murmurs increased. The name Jeo Chung-hee is acquainted with a billion dollar international trading company.

Yoochun could only clench his fist to stop his shaking hands. If Junsu didn’t figure this act out, he didn’t know what he could have done.

Junsu could only breathe out heavily and decided to go along with this crazy idea.

Accepting this situation and calming down as well, he waved his hand to the guards which released the girls they held roughly by the hand.

“Alright, now that this misunderstanding is solved, let’s talk privately. Follow me.” He stared deep into Yoochun’s eyes in search for answers as he said this but all he could see was great sincerity and gentleness radiating out of his face. He could not see a single bad intention what so ever.

********************

As they got into Junsu’s private room, silence dominated the atmosphere. The both of them didn’t know where to begin, how to begin or even when to begin.

“Shut the door,” Junsu commanded the now timid Yoochun.

“Ah sorry,” Yoochun quickly apologized. He knew he was in big trouble and Junsu’s mood wasn’t comforting. It almost felt as if he was a complete stranger.

Before beginning the conversation, Junsu took a deep breath in order to regain his senses. “Alright, Jeo Chung-hee, or should I say Park Yoochun, what brings you to this horrifying dwelling?” Sarcasm completely covered his words.

Yoochun wanted to cry or at least have a nervous breakdown. The man felt so distant to him, so foreign, to the point where he felt out of place or dumb for wanting to be there just so that he could see him.

“I don’t have much time Yoochun,” Junsu sighed. “I don’t know what to do with you now that you’re here. Heck, I don’t even know what you are doing here.”

“I…Junsu…” Yoochun tried to speak, but he didn’t even know what to say. He just wanted to…see him? To talk maybe. But, the other man didn’t even allow for that kind of atmosphere.

Junsu shook his head side to side in disbelief. “Alright, while you get your thoughts straight, I’ll speak first.”

Figuring out where to start, Junsu walked to his desk and leaned against it to face Yoochun. “Alright, first and foremost, you know we are not connected anymore in any other physical or financial way right? I got my 1 hundred million dollar kiss from a man I bought from prostitution house and now you’re free! I confessed my heart wrenched feelings for you however; you flat out clearly rejected me. I let you go completely so I can recover but I don’t understand why you’re here tonight, in front of me, trying to initiate some sort of heartfelt conversation or expecting some sort of comfort when clearly, I should be the one getting comforted.” Junsu sighed again. “Tell me clearly Yoochun, why are you here?”

Junsu’s words were sharp knives that stabbed his heart. Yoochun could only listen in silence as his emotions ran rampantly wild to the point of exhaustion. Tears started to well up in his eyes. “I don’t know Junsu. Trust me, I really don’t know why I’m here. I questioned myself right in front of the doors of this house as if I stood at the gates of hell itself,” Yoochun spoke through his fear and hurt.

Hearing these words, Junsu sneered. “So then what business do we have with each other then? I don’t think I can read your mind of what you want at this point.”

“Junsu…” Yoochun said as he swallowed a huge lump welling up in his throat. He couldn’t bear the large distance he felt between him and Junsu. “I really just wanted to apologize. I came on impulse because the thought of seeing…”

Yoochun stopped his trail of thought. The thought of seeing Junsu was enough to allow himself to go. That’s what he wanted to say. But that’s just wrong and confusing to himself and probably to Kim Junsu! It also made him question why he was really there. Unconsciously, in the heat of his passion, he was about to say, he came because he wanted to see Junsu? But what happens from there? He already rejected him and now he’s just saying, I came to your party because I wanted to see you…to be your friend…hoping we can get close again… This was really a stupid idea. It was his greatest fault for even coming here.

“So you came on impulse at the thought of seeing…” Junsu raised his brow and stood up straight, taking a step out from his desk and towards Yoochun. “Seeing me, I suppose? So really, you came to see me. Is that why you’re here?”

Yoochun could not look at the blunt Junsu in the eye. For once, he backed down and looked at the ground in complete and utter defeat.

“Okay, so that explains why you’re here,” Junsu said in an interrogating fashion. “To see me. Now, what do you want to see me for?” Junsu asked as he walked over the Yoochun who just stared at the floor. “Yoochun?” Junsu leaned to the side in order to catch Yoochun’s gaze. “I really don’t have a lot of time Yoochun.”

“Junsu, I’m just being a sincere…friend,” Yoochun began to speak. “Just because I rejected you doesn’t mean that we have to cut our ties! I just want to be with you—to know if you’re doing well, to make you happy, and be there with you if you need help. I don’t understand why I can’t be with you or why can’t I come to see you anymore.” Yoochun’s tears began to fall.

Once again, the masked Junsu began to speak. Even if those words did sound nice, there was no point in them at all. There was no hope and it was frustrating. “Oh, the problems of naivety!” he said in great amusement as if he was not even affected by the words at all. “You know Yoochun, let me cut it out to you straight. It’s clear to me that you are in love with me. Your words, in a roundabout way, is confessing to me, I love you. I can read through the lines and if you don’t get what you’re trying to say, I definitely do. You sound like a girl helplessly in love.”

“Junsu, I don’t l—!” Yoochun was about to deny but somehow, a prick in his heart caused him to bite down his words. I can’t…fall…in love with you? Those words, he couldn’t say it as easily as before. Yoochun looked to the side, away from the gaze of Junsu’s eyes. Again, those words were hard to let go. Was love really the unknown pain and regret he decided to let go of? Truth be told, he really didn’t want to part away from Junsu and every time they did, there was only pain. Only when they were together was he able to find some sort of peace within himself and an order to his life. He felt warm. Was this love?

“What?” Junsu fought back with harsh words his feeling of sadness. “I can’t be friends with you Yoochun. You know I can’t. There is no use of having a commoner as a friend. It doesn’t benefit me at all. If you don’t love me, and I’m telling you, we also can’t be friends, why are you still here standing beside me? You can’t be anything to me so to not waste anymore time—“

Junsu stopped his words the moment Yoochun’s tears started to fall. His act and his cold heart that attempted to form a barrier between him and Yoochun just melted and his cruel intentions to place distance between himself and the other man just vanished.

Junsu frowned. The last thing he wanted to see was this. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. He was in no position to comfort at all. His clear goal was to drive Yoochun out of his life, this place…from danger… But what is he supposed to do if he cries because of a broken heart in front of him?

“Yoochun,” Junsu called out his name gently. Not being able to bear this sight and in fear of his shaking resolve, Junsu walked towards the door and opened it. “I’ll be the one to leave this time.”

“Wait,” Yoochun spoke. “Please hear me out.” He turned towards the door, and looked Junsu in the eye. “This seems a bit rushed for me to understand but what I do understand is that if I let you walk out that door, I won’t be able to see you again and that’s the opposite of what I’d like to happen. So even if I’m confused of what my feelings are, I want to say that you are special. I do feel something there and if it’s love, I’m willing to accept it! I still don’t understand but please stay. Please.” Yoochun begged through his shortening breath. “I promised myself to be more truthful but I’m completely confused! I’m sincere! I’m not lying so please believe me Junsu… I don’t mean any harm! I just…” Yoochun closed his eyes and turned away as if trying to calm down his hurt, his sadness and his frustrations. “I just know for a fact that I have this deep yearning to be with you every second of the day! I’m starting to think that’ it’s because I love you but if this is love…” Yoochun asked in great frustration, “why does it hurt so much?”

“You’re starting to get it Yoochun. It still sounds unbearably unreasonable but you’re getting close to your feelings,” Junsu breathed trying to hide his bending emotions and resolve. “But can give up these feelings now because even if you say you love me, I can’t stay. Maybe there was a point that we could have been together, but we missed that point and you missed your chance. It will work to your good fortune though. You don’t have to live this spiteful life I tread. I realized when I was rejected, that even if we do love each other, I can’t bring my misfortune to you. And because I love you Yoochun, I’m going to let you go. I’m going to move on without you,” Junsu said as he began to walk out the door. “It’s my cruel fate and your greater fortune.”

“Junsu…” Yoochun tried to call out to him but before he could, the door closed shutting him behind in silence as he cried.


N/A: SURPRISE! I hope this compensates for a long time not updating. I don't remember the story anymore so I'm just following my old notes. Hopefully I get some feedback from you guys, I always like to hear what my readers have to say and enjoy! This chapter was a bit of a huge step for everyone's relationship status. And I was going to squeeze in Changmin and Dongwook's here but I figured that I'll save another set of drama for the next one. I didn't edit too much because I'm really sleepy and I don't think I'll have time to work on it so for you guys, I'm just going to get this chapter out here. BTW, I missed everyone here! It's so nostalgic trying to post things up again. Hopefully, I get to do more posts more often than not! I forgot how fun LJ was. In your comments, let me know of awesome fics I have missed out! I'd like to keep up. Smile I'll talk to you guys down at the comment box! Smile

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Re: I'm Cool? [Yoosu & Yunjae]

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