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Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

Post by yozoranomukou on 7/21/2009, 8:45 am

Kotoba ni Dekinai..... (I can't express it in words.....) - by green-chan

Kotoba ni Dekinai..... B8315294d70313402b03b04cff17163d1249529054_full


".....We were young and ignorant. We didn’t know the true meaning of love. Eventually our innocent love went astray. But now that we have become more mature, our lost love has miraculously found its way back. I don’t know why and I don't know how, but my love for her has gotten stronger than ever. Every time I close my eyes I only see her beautiful fragile figure. Meeting her again has made me happy……...…so happy that I can’t express it into words....."

This fanfic was actually inspired by the song Kotoba ni Dekinai by DBSK. I know that Oda Kazumasa was the original, but their version was just very beautiful.

Take a listen to it!

Kotoba ni Dekinai by Tohoshinki



Yamashita Tomohisa – Yoshida Kei
Horikita Maki – Shizuka Naomi
Fujiwara Tatsuya – Mizuhashi Koji
Eita – Mizushima Takeru
Ueno Juri – Kishimoto Ruka
Nagasawa Masami – Aida Michiru


Comments would be very much appreciated ^^ Enjoy my fanfic!

Last edited by yozoranomukou on 8/5/2009, 9:24 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : i finally added a poster!!! thnx to azinproductions.blogspot.com!!!)

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Chapter 1 – The Reunion

Post by yozoranomukou on 7/21/2009, 8:48 am

Chapter 1 – The Reunion


[Italics]- thoughts


“uwaah!! (yawning) ugh, itai my head hurts.” Kei stretched his arms as he got up from his bed and out of the room and towards the kitchen. In the kitchen he took out a white mug from the cupboard and he poured black coffee into it.

“Mmm……” The refreshing aroma of the coffee tickled his nose as he took a sip put of the mug.

Wait a second! Who made this coffee? No one is even awake yet?

Suddenly a pair of slender arms was wrapped around his waist. When he turned around he found a half naked woman wearing Takeru’s bathrobe smiling creepily at him. Not knowing what to do, he immediately pushed her away and ran towards the living room. A few seconds later the woman followed him into the living room holding his coffee mug as she leaned on the archway that separated the living room and the kitchen

“What’s wrong honey?” The half naked woman asked as she sniff of the coffee.

“Honey? I don’t even know you!” he exclaimed.

“So you don’t remember what happened last night?” She said raising her eyebrows.

“La—last night?” he asked himself. What the hell happened last night? The only thing I remember was me, Takeru, and Ruka in a club partying. Then we went back home and I was feeling very drunk at that time and----- Suddenly she interrupted his thoughts.

“You really don’t remember?” She asked earnestly. “But we had so much fun last night.” She said pouting. Suddenly the clothing covering her shoulder dropped down her arm revealing the red strap of her bra. His face started to turn pink and he quickly looked away from her. Shit! Don’t tell me we had sex last night!? Inhale exhale, inhale exhale, inhale exhale……..

“Ne, did we---did we have sex last night?” he asked her, well to be more exact he whispered it to her. Suddenly he heard her snort a little bit. Then she broke down laughing her head off.

“What the hell is so funny?” he asked her.

“Oh my god *snort* I was just kidding! Hahaha nothing happened; besides I came here with Takeru last night not you. Hahaha! You should have seen your face. You were so scared and worried! What? Don’t tell me you’re still a virgin?” She asked jokingly.

Kei's face began to change from pink to red from embarrassment. He bit his lower lip and he turned his head away so that she wouldn’t notice his blushed cheeks. Suddenly she noticed him blushing and her face became serious.

“Holy crap you’re still a virgin!” She yelled out loud causing everyone in the share house to wake up. Takeru came out first from his room upstairs. When he came down he wore a smirk on his face, unfortunately overhearing what she just yelled out.

“Ne, you’re still a virgin?” Takeru asked. Kei kept quiet as his cheeks turned even redder.

“Of course not!” he retorted back.

Suddenly Ruka came out of her room; she too had a smirk on her face. “Heee, you’re still a virgin huh?” She said teasingly. He didn’t respond to them, instead he stayed quiet taking in all of their remarks.

However in reality he was no longer a virgin. He had already lost his virginity to his high school sweet heart

It was a long time ago but I can still remember it clearly. It was the day before my family and I moved to Fukuoka, during prom night. We promised our parents we would go to prom together and that we would come back home together. However instead of going to prom we had other plans; went to a motel instead. The receptionist didn’t question us too much since we were paying, so we got room pretty easily. When we finally did it, we didn’t actually know what we were doing. We were only eighteen at that time and it was our first time too, but we were smart enough to use a condom though. Waah! Reminiscing that night makes my heart flutter. Anyway back to reality;

“Who’s this girl anyway?” Kei asked trying to change the topic.

“Oh, this is Michiru, my new girlfriend.” Takeru said as he walked behind her, placing his arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder.

“Wow, you bounce back fast.” Ruka commented as she pours coffee into her mug. Takeru just gave her an annoyed face.

“Well, I got to go get ready for work now. Oh by the way, don’t bother waiting up for me, I’ll be home late. I have a reunion to go to this afternoon.” Kei explained to them.

“Ok, well have fun on your reunion!” Ruka said sarcastically as if it was a bad thing.


“Shoot! I’m late for my reunion!” Kei panted down the stairs and into the platform of the train station. He gasped for air as he got to the bottom of the staircase. He checked his watch once more to see what time it was; it read ‘5:45.’ Shit!

When he glanced back up a figure caught his eye, but then a crowd of people began blocking his way. He jerked his head around trying to look for her amongst the crowd of people, but she was nowhere in sight. And then from afar he saw her again; she was entering the train. Kei tried to make a run for it so that he could catch up to her before the door closes. But his efforts weren’t enough. The door closed shut right in front of his face. He called out to the conductor to open the doors, but the conductor couldn’t hear him. When the train began moving, his legs began moving as well. He ran along the ledge of the platform like a maniac trying to catch up to the train. As he ran alongside the train he saw a clear view of her. There’s no mistake, it was definitely her!


When Kei got to the reunion he was forty-five minutes late. He was sternly hoping to see her there since he did saw her on the train that stops here. Inside he was welcomed by his old friends and classmates from high school. Although Kei wanted to stay and chat with them, he wanted to hang out with someone else. He looked and looked everywhere, but he just couldn’t find her.

Where is she? He kept asking himself. When the song ended, a bunch of people began leaving the dance floor. And behind the crowd that left was her. She was at the food counter getting some punch for herself. His legs began moving involuntarily towards her direction, dodging and pushing aside the people dancing on his way.

There she is………Oh how I’ve been wishing to see her. All of these years I keep asking myself, ‘when will I ever see her again?’ Oh how I longed for this moment to come. And how I longed to hug her, hold her, kiss her………..and say to her how much I love her. Kei stopped just a few feet away from her.

“Naomi……” he said softly. Naomi turned her head and saw him.

“Kei…….” she said surprisingly. Her eyes widened at the sight of her ex-boyfriend. She didn’t quite know how to react to the situation. There was both happiness and sadness inside her heart. Back in high school she was crazily in love with him, and his departure has left a scar inside her heart.

Kei moved closer to her and he gently smiled at her. “How have you been?” he asked.

“I……….I’ve been great.” She said to him. “And you?”

“Oh, I’m doing great too.” There was silence between them for a moment. Although there was loud music in the background they felt each others silence.

“So---” Kei started out, however a random guy, who he doesn’t even know, interrupted him.

“Kei!” he said giving him a high five and then he left.

“Heeey” Kei answered back. who was that?

“Anyway, so……..you’re doing well, that’s great!” He said nervously. But suddenly his voice became serious. “Naomi I----”

“Yo Kei!” another guy interrupted him, but this time he actually knew the person.

“Hey Bakanishi!” he greeted back. Just like the other guy, Jin gave him a high five and left.

Kei became more irritated. “You know what, I think we should go outside.” Kei suggested as he noticed that more and more people was interrupting their conversation. Naomi noticed it too and nodded. She and Kei went outside into the garden. They walked in silence for a while, just following the path of gravel on the ground. The silence wasn’t as awkward as they thought it would be, it actually brought a sense of peace and calmness between the two of them.

Naomi broke the silence first, “What were you trying to say inside, before you were interrupted?”She asked with a chuckle. Seeing her smile brought back memories that he had with her. Those times when he joked around with her and when she would laugh at his corny jokes.

“Umm….uh……I……can I have you’re number? You…….umm…….changed your phone……..and……and I couldn’t get in contact……with…….with you anymore, so……..” He said scratching the back of his head. Damn! What the hell is wrong with me!?”

“I guess…….” She said frowning. “Was that what you were trying to tell me inside?” She asked bitterly.

“Well…….no…….I wanted to say, that----” Suddenly the lights and the fountain in the garden turned on surprising the both of them. The music inside got louder as well.

“Kirei………” Naomi commented as she admired the beautiful fountain and the light surrounding it.

Kei couldn’t help but stare at Naomi’s beautiful angelic face.

“Yea, kirei………”


A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter ^^ And I hope it wasn’t too boring. I wanted to introduce all of the characters in the story. Fujiwara Tatsuya will appear in the story later on so wait for it! In the next chapter there’s gonna be more yamaki moments too lol.

Comments would be very much appreciated. Stay tune for chapter two! Very Happy

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Re: Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

Post by Sachie on 7/21/2009, 9:50 am

The chapter was pretty much interesting...
Kei is my fav until now, I still need to know more about the other characters.
keep updating~

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Re: Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

Post by Guest on 7/21/2009, 1:50 pm

Kei is my fav too ^^, I like this story so far, can't wait to see what will happen Very Happy


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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Chapter 2 – Slow Dance

Post by yozoranomukou on 7/22/2009, 5:58 pm

Chapter 2 – Slow Dance


[Italics]- thoughts

[*] - song- The song featured is called, “This never happened before” by Paul McCartney


“Kirei………” Naomi commented as she admired the beautiful fountain and the lights that surround it.

Kei couldn’t help but stare at her beautiful angelic face. Nothing can compare to the beauty of the sight he is witnessing now, not even the Mona Lisa that everyone adored and admired.

“Yea, kirei………” he said in a soft tone.

When Naomi turned around to face him, he immediately looked away. He was embarrassed and he didn’t want her to see his blushed cheeks. When she gave him a slight smile, he couldn’t help but smile back at her. Suddenly Kei had an urge to hold her hand, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was afraid that he might give her the wrong idea by just grabbing her hand from out of the blue.

When he finally decided to go for it anyway, Naomi beat him to it. She grabbed his hand first, intertwining her fingers with his. Kei’s cheeks blushed even more from her gesture. She’s so straightforward; and that’s one of the reasons I fell for her. No matter what she does, she always brings smile to my face.

Suddenly there was a sudden change in the mood of the atmosphere. Inside the building, a new song was being played. It was a slow and calm song. The sound of a piano along with the sound of a soft cymbal started out the song.

*I’m very sure
this never happened to me before
I met you and now I’m sure
this never happened before……….*

When Kei heard the song playing, he took this opportunity to ask her for a dance. He offered his hand to her and Naomi gently accepted his offer. At first their posture was loose and their bodies were apart. He felt awkward being close to her because he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. Naomi’s hand lay flat on his palm while her other hand lays flat on his shoulder. Kei’s other hand lays at her hips, while his other hand supported Naomi’s hand. They slowly moved their feet and body along with the melody towards no specific direction. They just danced, as they acknowledged each others presence.

*Now I see
This is the way it's supposed to be
I met you and now I see
This is the way it should be……….*

Without noticing the two of them began to move their bodies closer to each other, closing any space between them. Their bodies were so close that they could feel and hear each others breathe. Kei realized how much their bodies fit like a puzzle, like they were meant for each other. Naomi then rested her face on his chest feeling his warmth and his heart beat.

Kei missed a lot of things that he and Naomi used to do. Oh how much he missed the times he used to hold her tightly like this, and the times he used to hold her soft petite fingers, intertwining them with his. Doing all of these things again has made him glad and content. But something deep inside him keeps resurfacing, like a doubt. Something keeps telling him that what they were doing was wrong (foreshadowing Razz lol). Kei immediately shook away this thought. He decided to just focus on their moment together right now.

*This is the way it should be for lovers
They shouldn't go it alone
It's not so good when you're on your own*

Soon tears began to fall down on Naomi’s face. She too was feeling mixed emotions right now. She felt so wrong doing this with her ex-boyfriend, but deep inside she still have feelings for him.

When he moved away to Fukuoka her feelings for him never died, nor did it ever faltered. There were moments when she would forget about him, but there were also moments when she would just sit by herself pondering and reminiscing about the past.

Suddenly Kei felt her tears drop down his shirt. Is she crying? he asked himself. Kei took her hand that he was holding and placed it over his shoulder, while he placed both of his hands on her back. He hugged her tighter, reassuring her that everything would be fine. Naomi buried her face onto his chest while Kei buried his face in her hair. His hug brought a familiar feeling to Naomi; she just felt so safe and comfortable being in his arms, like a baby feeling protected in it's mother’s arms.

*So come to me
Now we can be what we wanna be
I love you and now I see
This is the way it should be

This is the way it should be*

The two of them both lifted their heads up and they stared at each other’s eyes. Kei moved his face closer to her face. Naomi knew what he was planning to do. She knows she shouldn’t do it, but she just couldn’t force herself to break away from him. Besides his grip was also too tight making it impossible for her to push him away……….but that was just an excuse. Suddenly Naomi felt his warm soft lips on hers. I can’t do this. This is wrong…… she kept telling herself, but in the end she found herself responding to his kiss.

Soon their kiss became more passionate and none of them wanted to break away from each other. As their kiss became deeper and deeper Kei moved his hands around her back while Naomi moved her hands around his head feeling every strand of his hair between her fingers.

*This is the way it should be for lovers
They shouldn't go it alone
It's not so good when you're on your own

I’m very sure
This never happened to me before
I met you and now I’m sure
This never happened before (this never happened before)
This never happened before (this never happened)
This never happened before (this never happened before)*

The two of them continued their kiss even after the song ended. Then suddenly Naomi’s phone began ringing. Naomi tried to break away from the kiss to see who was calling, but Kei wouldn’t let her go, so she decided to let the voice mail get it. A couple of seconds later, her phone began ringing again. Kei became annoyed by the cell phone so he loosened up his grip, allowing Naomi to break away from their kiss.

She frantically searched for her phone inside her bag cursing under her breath. When she finally found it the screen read, ‘Mizuhashi Koji.’

Naomi bit her lips when she saw the name on her phone. Kei noticed it too. “What’s wrong?” Kei asked her worriedly.

“I……….I have to go. I’m sorry.” Naomi said bitterly. She didn’t want to leave yet, but staying would be the wrong choice. When she was about to run away, Kei caught her hand immediately swinging her back into his arms.

“Why?” Kei demanded, but she didn’t answer. “B—boyfriend?” Kei asked her bitterly. When Naomi gave him a slight nod, he immediately let go of her hand. Naomi glanced at his face and noticed his sad and disappointed expression. But she can’t do anything about it. It was bad enough they were making out behind her boyfriend’s back. She knows better than that.

“I’m really sorry………..” She said again before running off leaving Kei all alone in the garden.


When Kei got home, Ruka was still awake. She was in the living room eating popcorn while watching baseball.

“tadaima…….” He said softly.

“Oh! Okaeri! How was the reunion?” Ruka asked with her gaze still fixed on the TV. But when she barely heard a response from him, she knew something was wrong.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen during the reunion?” she asked.

Kei took a seat on the armchair, putting his feet on the coffee table next to Ruka’s Pepsi. “Wow you really had a bad time huh?” she asked as she puts her soda on the other side of the coffee table and away from his feet.

“I don’t wanna talk about it….” He said sighing.

“Ok” Ruka said immediately without giving it another thought. Kei gave her an annoyed look, which Ruka ignored completely.

“Fine! What happened?” Ruka finally asked.

“I saw her again……she was so beautiful, like she was before except she looks more mature now. ” He said happily.

“Ok……can you give me a hint of who you’re talking about?” Ruka asked sarcastically.

“My girlfriend from high school. I saw her in the reunion.” He explained to her.

“Oh~ the girl you were with before you moved right?”


“What happened next?”

“Well, we talked and walked for a few minutes. Then outside in the garden we danced………then we went closer to each other………..and then we kissed……….” Kei explained frowning.

“Great! You hit the jackpot so why are you moping around for?” Ruka leaned forward over the coffee table to grab her soda.

“So we were kissing, then suddenly her phone rang…..and…..and……” Kei didn’t want to say it. It already hurts enough knowing the fact that his beloved girl belongs to someone else now.

“And you found out she has a boyfriend right?” she finished his sentence off. Ruka kind of figured it out since all of the hints were there. She looked up at him and she gave him a sympathetic look. Kei continued to frown and sulk in despair.

“How could I have even been so stupid! Of course she has a boyfriend! Why wouldn’t she be? She’s the most beautiful girl I know! No offense Ruka.”

“None taken.”

*sigh* “There’s no more hope for me………I already lost my chances with her.”

“Hey, there are still a lot of fishes out there in the pond, so don’t be so down!” Ruka encouraged him, but Kei didn’t care about the other fishes, he only wants her.

When Ruka glanced back at the TV she was disappointed to find out her team lost. “Oh man! I can’t believe the Swallows lost to the Hawks! (The Tokyo Yakult Swallows and the Fukuoka Softbank Hawks). Now both Ruka and Kei were sulking, creating a heavy depressing mood inside the living room.

When Takeru came down from his room the heavy atmosphere engulfed him sending shocks down his spine and giving him goose bumps all over his body.

“Who died?”


A/N: Thank you very much to everyone who commented! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter ^^ you’ll learn more about Koji and the rest of the characters in the next chapter so keep reading!

Comments would be very much appreciated. Stay tune for the next chapter! Very Happy

Last edited by yozoranomukou on 8/6/2009, 3:48 pm; edited 6 times in total

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Re: Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

Post by Sachie on 7/23/2009, 9:06 am

I really liked that chapter...it's so romantic!
can't wait for chapter 3!!!

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Post by Guest on 7/23/2009, 2:36 pm

Aww..it was such a sweet scene and then her boyfriend had to call...poor Kei. *Will wait patiently for chapter 3* ^^


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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Chapter 3 - Aitai!

Post by yozoranomukou on 8/3/2009, 1:53 pm

Chapter 3 – Aitai! (I want to see you!)


[Italics]- thoughts
Suki – I like you


It was almost dark and Kei stood shivering in front of the Docomo shop at Roppongi, giving out fliers to by passers. It was almost winter so the weather was expected to be cooler; however Kei forgot to bring a jacket with him when he left the share house this morning. It was still warm when he left for work, so he didn’t bother to go back and fetch his jacket.

"Achoo! I hate my job” he complained under his breath. He has to stand there outside until he finishes giving out all of the Docomo fliers to the people. Kei place the fliers under his underarm and he began rubbing his hands together trying to unfreeze his fingers. He blew warm hair onto his hands as he feels the numbness go away. Ah...that feels good. Suddenly he felt a small tap on his shoulder. When he turned around he was surprise at who he saw standing behind him.

“Yo!” Naomi greeted as she made a peace sign with her fingers.

“Oh…….” Was all Kei could say back. He was shock to see her again so quickly. It has only been four days since he last saw her at the reunion. Well for him four days seems like a year. He can’t believe how fate allowed them to meet again.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked her.

“I didn’t. I was just passing by.” She told him honestly.


When he saw a man about to pass by them, he immediately stepped forward, and greeted the man. Then he gave him a flier. The man nodded as he took the flier from his hand. Kei gave him a slight smile as the man walked away.

“What are you handing out?” Naomi asked suddenly.

“Umm, they’re promotional fliers. I work at Docomo.” Kei pointed at the shop behind them. She nodded as she scanned the store from top to bottom.

Naomi turned her gaze back to him again. "Well?" She stretched out her hand towards him.

"Huh?" Kei stood there puzzled.

"Aren't you going to give one?" She asked him with a grin.

"Oh, here." When he gave her a flier, their fingers brushed against each other, and both of them blushed. He immediately snatched his hand away from her hand and Naomi did the same thing. Their sudden kiss during the reunion made them feel awkward with each other.

Kei was embarrassed for touching her hand, but deep inside he actually liked it. He wondered if Naomi felt the same way, but he didn't dare to ask her. He was too embarrassed to ask.

"It sure is cold today." Naomi commented as she broke the awkwardness between them.

"Yea....." Kei agreed. “Ano, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m heading over to—to my friend’s house.” She said nervously.

“Ah, sou…..”

Both of them became silent again. Kei doesn't know how else he could continue the conversation. Everything just became more awkward.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around. Bye.” She smiled and slowly walked away.

Kei smiled back as he uttered a soft ‘goodbye’ to her disappearing figure. *sigh* There she goes again…...I wonder if I’ll get another chance to see her again? Kei closed his eyes and he folded his hands together praying and wishing intently to see her again.


*ding dong* the sound of the doorbell rang after Naomi pressed the button. She stood patiently outside of an apartment. She examined the elegant maroon door that stood in front of her. A couple of seconds later the door opened and she was welcomed by a tall young man wearing light grey cardigan sweater and a white dress shirt underneath it. When he saw her he immediately gave her a peck on the lips and they went inside.

“What took you so long?” he asked her.

“Ah, gome the train was late so I couldn’t get here earlier.” She explained to him.

“Souka. I could’ve picked you up you know.” He said as he helped her take her sweater off.

“I didn’t want to bother you.” She said shyly.

“But I’m your boyfriend.” Koji lifted her chin up so that their eyes met each other. “You’ll never be a bother to me.” He said grinning at her. She couldn’t help but smile back at his cute smile.

“Well, let’s go eat dinner now.” Koji led her to the dining room and he pulled out the chair for her like a gentleman. Naomi thanked him as she slowly sat on the chair.

The two kept silent as they ate their dinner. They didn't talk much with each other, instead they spoke with their eyes. They would look up and smile and nod from time to time whenever their eyes gaze at each other. It’s like the two of them have their own way of communicating.

The first to break the silence was Koji. “How was the reunion?” He suddenly asked.

Naomi choked on her food when she remembered what happened during the reunion. She immediately grabbed the glass of water beside her and coughed after drinking it.

“Naomi are you alright?” Koji asked worriedly. When he was about to get up from his seat to help her, she motioned him to sit down.

*cough, cough* “I’m ok” she smiled sheepishly.

“Did something happen during the reunion?”

Naomi took a minute before she answered him. She felt guilty about what happened during the reunion, but she didn't want to worry him. Should I tell him the truth? No, I can’t tell him the truth. I won’t ruin our relationship just because of one stupid mistake. After another second or so, she shook her head.

“I was just chewing too fast, so I choked a little bit.” Naomi didn’t look at him in the eyes when she told him that. Her eyes are always wondering off whenever she tells a lie. Koji didn’t notice anything peculiar at all. He just nodded and continued eating.

I let my emotions get the better of me that night. I can’t let that mistake happen again.


[Share house]

Ruka laid on the couch with her legs crossed watching Zettai Kareshi (Absolute Boyfriend), while Takeru slept soundlessly on the love seat adjacent to the couch.

“Haha, check out that robot. He’s trying to land a kiss on her.” Ruka pointed out laughing hysterically as the girl tries to run away from a guy.

Suddenly she heard Takeru mumble something in his sleep. At first she thought it was nothing, so she just ignored it. But then a few minutes later he began mumbling stuff again. Curious, she sat up and moved her ear closer to his face listening intently for him to mumble again. Within moments Takeru began to mumble again.

“…..suki…..d~~~” he mumbled. Ruka couldn’t catch the last part, but she was pretty sure he said ‘suki.’ suki? Huh? Ruka scratched the back of her head confused. Is he talking about Michiru?

“Oh well.” Ruka just shrugged it off and went back to watching TV.


Thirty minutes later, Takeru woke up from his deep sleep. He sat up and stretched his hands over his head. Then he noticed Ruka sleeping on the couch. He looked up at the wall and checked the time. It’s only 5pm. They’ve been living together in the share house for a long time and he never saw her sleeping this early; at this time she’s either at work or at home watching TV. “This is a first.” He thought.

Takeru stared at her sleeping figure. He smirked when he saw her shiver. He heads over to the closet and takes out a spare blanket. He walked over to the couch and he gently placed the blanket over her shivering body. As he covers her with the blanket, he couldn’t help but stare at her peaceful sleeping face.

“Who knew she could look so pretty sleeping?” He chuckled as he continued staring at her face. Although they’ve lived together for a long time, he never saw her when she's asleep. He never thought that watching someone sleep can make him smile like this. He’s like an innocent lovestruck teenager.

Suddenly Ruka move her face closer to his face. His eyes widened and his cheeks blushed when her face was just a few inches away from his. His eyes fell right at her pink lips. He was staring intently at it. He slowly moved his face towards hers. But then he realized what he was about to do.

Takeru immediately stood up and paced back and forth his hands cupping his red cheeks. He can’t believe how close their faces were. For a second he thought about kissing her. Takeru stopped on his tracks and he shook the thought away. Why am I acting so weird? he thought. When he looked back at her his heart skipped a beat.

“Muri……zettai muri…...(impossible......definitely impossible……)”


“Yeah, I was just finishing up work.” Kei waved to his
co-worker as he exits the Docomo shop.

“Party?” he asked curiously.

“Yea we’re having a party right now, here at the share house.” Takeru explained on the other end of the line.

“Why are you guys having a party?”

“You know my new girlfriend right? Michiru?”

“Who?” Kei stood outside trying to figure out who Michiru was. Then he remembered that woman at the share house four days ago. “Ah, yea. I remember now. What about her?”

“She just moved in to the share house! She asked me a couple of days ago if it’d be alright for her to live at the share house. Ruka said it’s ok for her. Ah! I forgot to ask you if it was alright. Your cool with it right?”

Kei sighed for he knew he has no other choice but to say ‘yes’ since she already moved in. It’ll be very rude of him to refuse now. He sighed and he told Takeru that it was alright. Suddenly a familiar figure across the street caught his eyes. Ah! There she is again!

“We’re celebrating her moving into the share house.” Takeru explained.

Kei ran to the end of the sidewalk and he began pressing the button on the walk sign vigorously. His silence made Takeru worried. “Kei? Are you still there?”

“Yea, I’m still here.” He replied as he frantically searched for her on the other side of the road.

“Why do you sound like you’re in a hurry?”

“Umm……hey, can I bring someone over at the party?” Kei ran across the road as soon as the traffic light turned red, he didn’t even waiting for the walk signal.

“Yea sure! Bring as many as you want! The more the better!”

“Ok, I’ll be there shortly. Jaa ne!” Kei hung up before Takeru could say goodbye. When he got to the other side of the street she saw her turning to the corner. He ran as fast as he can to catch up with her.

When he was only a meter away from her he stopped when he saw her walking aimlessly. He slowed down and he followed quietly behind her. He knew that she was in deep thinking right now. He could tell from her posture; her eyes staring at ground, her hands folded behind her back and her feet dragging on the ground. He knew that she’s probably dealing with a problem right now. He didn’t want to disturb her because he knows how cranky she’ll get when her thoughts are interrupted. ‘He knew’…….’he knew’…….’he knew’……..Knowing all of these traits about her made him feel so close to her, yet he’s not.

Their relationship has drifted apart ever since he left. He promised her that he will come back for her after he finishes college, but he never did. She waited six years for him, and yet he never came back. When he did come back, she has already left for Tokyo. And just like that their relationship ended. He knows he has no right to force her to come back to him. And now their relationship was back to the way it was before, before they started dating; following her from behind and only being able to look at her from afar. Once again, they are strangers to each other.


A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the late update. I got a little busy with school stuff ^^ I hope this chapter wasn’t too boring. I wanted to introduce Koji to this chapter. I also wanted to reveal some of Naomi and Kei’s past.

Comments would be very much appreciated. Stay tune for the next chapter! Very Happy

Last edited by yozoranomukou on 8/4/2009, 6:09 pm; edited 6 times in total (Reason for editing : Just changing the title ^^)

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Post by Guest on 8/4/2009, 12:41 pm

Koji seems like a really nice person. It would be hard to choose. LOL@ Takeru ^^ Thsnka for updating, can I ask how you learned Japanese? I really want to learn, but I have no idea where to start... Very Happy


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Post by WonderBinnie on 8/4/2009, 3:35 pm

This is so great fiction.
It has been long time since I read YaMaki fiction.
I love how you write.
First chapter is my fave so far.
I loved how others interrupted Kei and Naomi.
I hope that you update this soon

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty The past and the present

Post by yozoranomukou on 8/9/2009, 12:45 pm

Hey guys! thnx 4 da comments!


I actually learned while watching jdramas. Then i started buying japanese grammar books and a japanese dictionary. One of the books is called, Japanese verbs at a glance and the other one is called, All about particles. Both books are written by Naoko Chino. You could buy them at barnes and nobles.

I suggest you learn about the writings first; hiragana and katakana (don't worry about kanji yet, it very advance). Then study how to conjugate verbs. Here's a few websites that helped me study jap:




http://jisho.org/ (dis is an online jap-english dictionary)

http://www.animecrazy.net/forums/lounge/39546-japanese-language-lessons.html (dis is a really cool blog where you can ask and discuss with other ppl about japanese.)

I hope this helps you ^^ If you have any other questions I'll try to help you if I could ^^

Chapter 4 – The past and the present

[Italics]- thoughts


“Who did you call?” Michiru asked.

“Oh, I called Kei. I forgot to tell him about you moving in.” Takeru chuckled as he explains it to her.

“Souka.” Michiru slipped her arm into his arm and holds on to it tightly. He was surprised by her gesture; he doesn’t know shy she’s acting so clingy to him. Ever since a couple of days ago, she’s been acting weird and jumpy around him. He asked her about it before, but she just continues to deny it. It’s been bothering him for a while now.

[Flashback] – Takeru’s POV

I have known her for quite sometime, and we’ve only started dating recently. The two of us met three weeks ago at my bar. It was a usual Tuesday night; she and her friends came there for a drink. They were enjoying each others company, and then one by one her friends left and she decided to stay there to have a few more drinks. Of course I served her the drinks. When I glanced back at her, her expression had totally changed 180 degrees from how she came in with her friends. It was like her world has been turned upside down.

I wanted to ask her about it, so I decided to create a conversation. I started out by asking her if she wanted another drink. She shook her head and took a sip out of her glass.

“Are you feeling ok?” I asked her next.

She shook her head and she continued to stare into space. Then she took another sip out of her glass. I watched her as she gulped down the last drop of her scotch. After she finished her drink she stared at me like I was some kind of pervert. She must’ve noticed that I’ve been staring and stealing glances at her ever since she arrived here. I looked away and avoided her gaze.

“Ne, why do you keep on staring at me?” she asked. She sounded drunk, but I could tell she was still in the right state of mind.

“Betsuni (not really). I was just curious to why a beautiful girl like you will be in a bar sulking alone.”

She stared at me for second and said, “but isn’t that why people usually come here for? They drink so that they can forget all of their troubles. At least for a while.” She sounded really depressed, but she was right though. People do usually come here to wash their troubles away.

“Would you like to talk about it?” I asked her. She looked up at me and smiled. She was probably glad that someone wanted to listen to her.

“I…….I have a few problems at my hands right now.” She explained.

She told me about her boyfriend leaving her and her losing her job. She and her boyfriend worked at her father’s company. Her boyfriend has done a few illegal things behind the president’s back. When they found out about it, her father was planning on filing charges against him, but she managed to convince her father to spare him. Instead of filing charges, he fired both of them. After she protected him from being sent to jail, he broke up with her.

“That’s why I hate Mondays now.” She told him half jokingly.

I asked her why she didn’t tell her friends about it, and she said that it’s because they’re not her real friends. She said that they’re just people who hang out with her and kiss up to her because she was the daughter of a rich tycoon. She hated herself for being friends with them.

She felt relieved after she got all of that out of her chest. She thanked me and after that, she came to the bar almost every day just to talk. After two weeks of getting to know each other, we decided to officially start dating.

[End of flashback]

He cares so much for her, and seeing her scared and nervous like this is worrying him. He can’t bear to see her in such conditions.


It was already 8:15 and the two of them have been walking for more than an hour now. Kei continued to follow her from behind, while she continued to walk aimlessly. He was amazed of how far they’ve gone. He doesn’t even where they are right now. Still, he wanted to continue watching over her. He wanted to make sure she’s safe. He’s worried that something bad might happen to her especially in her current condition.

Naomi just walked to no specific destination. She just wants to clear her mind of her problems and worries. She has always taken long walks whenever something bothers her. She would just walk for hours around her neighborhood and not even notice time pass. People have already warned her not to keep doing that because she might get into an accident and not even notice it.

After ten more minutes of walking they reached the park. She stopped on her tracks and so did he. Before she could turn around, he hid behind a tree two meters away from her. He peeked from behind the tree and he saw her walk over a wooden bench on the same side where he was hiding.

She pulled her head back so that she’s staring straight up at the sky. She stretched her right arm up, as if she’s trying to grab one of the stars on the sky. He laughed under his breath as he watched her. She’s still immature. he thought.

His smile was then immediately replaced with a frown when he saw a glistening tear drop down her cheeks. He grabbed a hold of himself, before he tries to come out and reveal himself. He remained hidden behind the tree for he didn’t want to cause her anymore pain than what she’s feeling right now.

Although he wants to embrace her and cradle her in his arms, he couldn’t do that right now…………well rather he mustn’t. It hurts him inside just to see her so lost but seeing her cry cuts like a knife, especially if you know that you’re the reason for her pain. He realized that their kiss from before was still probably bothering her. It’s better to remain hidden because it’s just going to cause her more problems if he reveals himself to her. If only I knew that she already have a boyfriend, then I wouldn’t have tried to kiss her. God I’m an idiot! He gently hit himself on forehead as he curses under his breath.

“Ne….” Naomi said softly.

When he heard her voice he immediately got back to reality.

“How long are you going to follow me around?” she asked.

Kei was confused when he heard her question. Is she talking to me? Kei slowly peeked from behind the tree to see who she was talking to. There was no one there except for them.

“I know you’ve been following, just like how you followed me back then.” She continued.

When he heard her last statement, he knew she was talking him. He got up from the ground and he slowly revealed himself from behind the tree. She looked at him and smiled. He was surprise that she wasn’t sad or disappointed to see him. I guess she’s not mad at me.

Kei walked over to her and sat beside her on the bench.

“How did you know I was following you?”

“I felt your presence.” She told him.

“My presence?” he asked confused by what she meant.

“Yea, it felt the same when you used to follow me around in high school.”

Kei’s cheeks turned pink when he heard her say that. He didn’t know that she knew he followed her around during high school. She laughed when he saw his pink cheeks. Now he felt really embarrassed for stalking her.

“I didn’t know you knew about that.” He tells her.

“I….kind of liked it.” She confesses. “Of course at first I got scared, but then I realized you meant no harm. It really felt nice knowing that there’s someone watching over you.” She admits to him. He blushed even more upon hearing her say that. He’s glad that she felt protected with his presence.

“Ne……” she started out. Kei looked up at her. He saw her staring at the ground with a serious expression.

“We…….could still be friends right?” she asked him. He hesitated before he answered her; he was shock. He felt his heart crack upon hearing her question. At first he couldn’t believe what she just said, but now he realized that it really was too late. She wants him to be just a ‘friend’ and nothing more. Now he regretted leaving her. But it wasn’t really his fault. He had reasons why he couldn’t go back for her, but telling that to her is useless now.

Her heart ached when she asked him stay as friends with her. She loves him very much, but she’s afraid that she might get hurt again if she goes back to him. He had already hurt her once and who knows if he’ll hurt her again. She doesn’t know if she could trust him with her heart again. Right now she’s happy and content having Koji as a boyfriend. Instead of going back to the past she just wants to embrace the present and look forward to the future.

“Y—yea” he stuttered to say. When she smiled at him, he forced a fake smile. He can’t believe he just agreed to stay as a friend to her. Although he wants to be more than just a ‘friend,’ he respects her decision. It must’ve been really painful for her to come up with such a difficult decision. He could see in her eyes that she was hurt, but he could also see hope in it.

“So………..I guess we’re friends huh?” he said trying to sound as cheerful as he could to hide his agony. She nodded at him.

Kei could feel fresh tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He looks away from her and tries to stop the tears from falling. *All along he had always thought that love was his bliss and happiness. But little did he know that love was heaven’s rendered punishment.*

Silence filled the both them. Although they both tried to act strong in front of each other, inside they were falling apart. Both them doesn’t notice that their tough act was slowly wavering.

Kei broke the silence first. “Ne do you want to go to a party?” he asked her. She looked at him confused. “……my friends are having a welcoming party right now. Do you want to go……….as friends?” She hesitated at first, and then she nodded a ‘yes’ to him.

Kei stood up first then Naomi followed after him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him. She looked up at him surprise. “Friends could hold hands right?” he smiled at her and he continued to hold her hand.

Her heart felt at ease knowing that he wasn’t as hurt as she thought he would be. She was glad he was still willing stay by her side as a friend and continue to protect her.

Ne? I won’t regret this right?


A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter! I wanted to reveal Takeru and Michiru’s past in this chapter. I hope I didn’t disappoint you guys with Naomi’s decision. Don’t worry, the story is just getting started!

the part with the asterisks (* *) was actually lyrics from the song, Love is Punishment by K. Will ^^

Next chapter: Party at the share house! There’s gonna be more Yamaki moments and Takeru and Ruka moments in the next chap so look forward to it! Very Happy

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Post by Guest on 8/9/2009, 5:27 pm

Wow!! Thank you so much!! *hugs* The information is very helpful, I'll get down to studying right away...now for your fic, Michiru had a really tough past, I'm glad Takeru was there for her ^^. As for Noami, I had a feeling she would stay with Koji, he's a nice guy (I'm not saying that Kei isn't nice too..but yeah...) Thanks for the update Very Happy


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Post by yozoranomukou on 8/18/2009, 5:02 pm

@ Yukie23: You're welcome! If you need any help just ask me! I'll try my best to help ^^

Chapter 5 – Party at the share house!
[Italics]- thoughts
Hajimemashite – nice to meet you


*Ding dong*

Everyone glanced at each other to see if anyone will volunteer to get the door. Takeru glanced at Ruka and then at Michiru. They both stared blankly at him. He rolled his eyes and he finally decided to get the door.

*ding dong* the doorbell went again.

“Hai! I’m coming!” Takeru yelled out as he rushed over to the door. When he opened the door he found Kei and another person behind him.

“Yo Kei! What took you so long? You said you’ll be here soon—” Kei covered his mouth and shut him up.

“Wari wari. Can we come in now?” Kei asked impatiently. Takeru nodded and motioned for them to come in. From behind him, he saw a beautiful girl who bowed and said hi to him. Who’s that? he thought. That’s weird, Kei never brought anyone home before. Takeru scratched the back of his head confused.

When they entered the living room all eyes fell on them. Everyone mostly stared at the girl next to Kei. They were all wondering who she was.

Suddenly Eri burst out from the kitchen holding a tray of drinks, diverting the focus to her. “Minna minna! Here’s some more drinks!” Her jaws dropped when he saw a familiar face.

“Ah!” She pointed to Kei, while he pointed back at her.


The two of them rushed to each other and gave each other a huge hug. “Oh my god! Where have you been?! I haven’t seen you in a long time!” Eri wiped the tears forming at the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand. She was so glad to see him again that tears began to fall down on her cheeks. They haven’t seen each other nor have been able to contact each other for a long time. And here they are again getting reunited at the place where they all first met each other, at the share house.

Kei comforted her by gently rubbing her back. “It’s nice to finally see you again Eri.” He said to her. After a minute of hugging, the two of them pulled away from each other.

“are (eh), who’s that girl behind you?” she asked pointing at the Naomi.

“Ah! Gome, gome. I forgot to introduce her to you guys. Everyone, this is Naomi. She’s my friend.” He introduced her to them. Then he introduced each one of them to Naomi.

“Hajimemashite. Shizuka Naomi desu.” She said then bowing.

“Hajimemashite Naomi-chan. Ah, suwatte. (ah, sit down)” Eri pointed to the couch next to her. Naomi nodded and sat on the couch next to Ruka.

“Ah! Kei can you help me prepare the other dishes in the kitchen?” She asked him.

“Of course.” Kei followed her to the kitchen.

Naomi watched the two of them run around the kitchen laughing as they prepared the dishes. She couldn’t help but notice how much they are having fun with each others company. While observing the two of them, she remembered those fun times when she and Kei would tease each other every time they would work in the kitchen. He would chase her around the kitchen and squirt icing on her, while she splash flour on his face. The kitchen would always end up dirty, but it was always fun cleaning for her because she get’s to clean it together with him. I miss those times. A smile slowly crept on her face as she remembered those happy times they spent together. When she realized what she’s been thinking, she immediately shook her thought away.

Ruka noticed Naomi intently staring at Eri and Kei. She thought that it was very unusual for her to be staring at them. She could see a hint of sadness in her expression, but she didn’t know why. Now she’s smiling! She thought. A minute ago she looks sad and now she’s smiling??? EH!?


Throughout the night they sang all sorts of song in their karaoke machine. Eri and Michiru mostly hogged the mike. They fought each other about who’s going to sing next. Takeru and Ruka on the other hand chatted away with each other. Kei and Naomi just remained silent the whole time as they watched Eri and Michiru argue with one another.

Right now, Eri and Michiru were singing a duet. They were singing, ‘Perhaps Love’ by Howl and J (I know it’s a Korean song, but just pretend they know Korean lol XD). Kei ate Doritos while Naomi ate Wise Honey BBQ. He slowly slid to the tip of the chair and was about to grab his cup, when he felt someone’s hand touch his. He looked up and saw Naomi staring at him.

“Ah gome,” Naomi apologized. She retreated back her hand and sat back down on the couch. Kei grabbed the cup and took a sip from it. When he finished drinking it he noticed something weird about his cup. He saw a faded red lipstick at the tip of the cup where he had drank from. EH!!! This isn’t my cup!! When he glanced back at Naomi, she saw her drinking. When he saw her cup, he was definitely sure it was his. Crap! So this is her cup!? He began hitting himself lightly on his head for his stupidity.

“Kei are you ok?” Eri asked him curiously. When he got back to reality he found everyone staring at him weirdly.

“umm, I’m fine.” He smiled at them sheepishly. He caught Naomi’s eyes staring at him strangely. Well that was embarrassing. She probably thinks I’m weird =.=” He sighed and he reclined back onto the armchair.


Ruka saw the whole thing with the cups. Now she wondered even more as to why the two of them are acting weird in front of each other. Takeru noticed something different too.

“Ne, Ruka what’s going on with Kei and Naomi-chan?” He asked her curiously.

“You noticed it too? Well, I’m not sure but they sure are acting pretty suspicious.” she whispered to him.
Suddenly she noticed that his face was so close to hers.

She could feel his breath on her face. This made her heart beat faster. He just stared at her weirdly. She immediately pushed herself back to the chair and away from his face.

“Umm, I think I’m gonna go outside.” She said. She got up from the couch and headed towards the balcony. Takeru watched her exit the room.

What’s up with her? he thought.


“Waah! That was fun!” Michiru said with delight.

“Eri are you going to stay over for tonight?” Takeru suddenly asked.

“Hmm, I guess so. It’s already late for me to go home now so I guess I’ll stay over. What about you Naomi-chan?” Everyone turned their gazes towards Naomi. Kei was hoping sternly that she would stay over. She checked her watch and saw that it was already midnight.

“I guess I’ll stay over too.” She said shyly. Kei acted really calm in front of them, but in his mind he was silently celebrating and rejoicing. YES!!!! She’s staying!!!! he thought happily

“Ne Naomi-chan, can you help wash the dishes in the kitchen?” Eri asked.

“Sure.” Naomi nodded and followed her into the kitchen.

Eri began dumping the dishes onto the sink while Naomi began washing them. A little later, Eri began helping Naomi wash the dishes.

At the other room Takeru, Michiru and Ruka were fixing the living room they had trashed earlier, while Kei took out all of the trash.

“Ne Naomi-chan,” Eri started out. Naomi looked up at her and waited for her to continue. “Do you like Kei?” Naomi almost dropped the plate she was washing onto the ground. She was shock that she asked her that.

“Eh!? What made you say that?” She asked her curiously.

“Well, you two seems to act strange with each other.” She explained while washing a glass cup.

“Were just friends.” She told her. Well technically they are friends, but somehow she doesn’t feel like they’re just ‘friends.’

“Souka.” Suddenly from the living room, Eri heard Takeru calling for her help. “Ah, gome Naomi-chan I’ll be right back!” She quickly wiped her hand with a paper towel and ran over to the living room. Kei then walked in from the back door carrying a trash black bag. He wondered why Naomi was washing the dishes alone. I thought Eri was helping her.

“Naomi do you need help washing the dishes?” He asked her shyly.

“Eto……sure.” She finally said. Kei walked over next to her and he slowly dipped his hands into the sink filled with dish soap. He grabbed a plate from below and he began washing it. The two of them washed in silence, while Takeru, Ruka, Michiru and Eri were all watching them from the living room.

“I think they like each other!” Eri whispered to them. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Naomi was washing a plate under the dish water while Kei was drying one of the cups he just finished washing. When he was about to grab another plate, he accidentally grabbed her hand. The two stood motionless as he continued to hold her hand.

Both of them looked down at the dish water and then at each other. When he met her gaze he immediately let go of her hand and he began wiping it with a towel.

“Gome” he said before he went out to the backyard. Naomi lifted her hand from under the dish water and she stared at it weirdly. A smile slowly crept on her face as she thought about what just happened. Everyone at the living room giggled in excitement.


Kei woke up first early in the morning. Everyone was still asleep. Naomi slept on the couch, Michiru on the love seat, Ruka on the armchair and Takeru and Eri on the floor. He laughed as he watched them sleep. Then his gaze ended up at Naomi. His smile was replaced with a frown as he thought about what he and Naomi talked about last night at the park. He was disappointed that she only wanted him to be her friend and nothing more.

He grabbed a blanket from the closet and he gently placed it over her body. He got down on his knees and watched her sleep closely. He stared at all of the features of her face, for he knows that this will be the last time he can watch her closely like this. Suddenly, he had an urged to kiss her. He thought that this might be the last time he can kiss her. He slowly moved his face closer to her face. Gently, he planted a soft warm kiss on her lips. After that he slowly pulled his head back and stood up from the floor.

“Sayonara……” He whispered into the air as he continued to gaze at her sleeping figure.


A/N: Sorry for the long chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Stay tune for chapter 6!!! =D

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Post by Guest on 8/18/2009, 8:56 pm

Thank you ^^

Well everyone in the share house seems very nosy, Lol. Especially with Naomi there. I think her and Kei make a great couple...and I also think she's regretting her decision....thanks for the update!! Very Happy


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Post by Sachie on 8/19/2009, 12:10 pm

I has been a time since I commented on your fanfic.
I love it more every chapter Very Happy
I want to say lots of things, but I have a headache now...so, I might come edit this later.

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Chapter 6 - Starting Over

Post by yozoranomukou on 8/27/2009, 3:01 pm

Chapter 6 – Starting over


[Italics]- thoughts


*sigh* Kei sat on his office chair slouched, thinking about the harsh break up that occurred three days ago. He can’t admit the fact that Naomi has finally moved on and that she only thinks of him as a friend now.

*tap, tap tap* He looked up and saw Kim Jeonghoon, his coworker, staring down at him from his cubicle.

“What?” Kei asked in a petulant tone.

“Woah, someone woke up at wrong side of the bed.” He said jokingly.

Kei slouched back down and just ignored him.

“Ne, what happened to you? You’ve been so distressed lately.”

He continued to ignore him.

“Hello? Is anybody there?” He began poking Kei’s head tilting it back and forth. He wanted to get his attention but he kept on ignoring him. Kei slapped his hand away from his head and he continued to ignore him.

When that didn’t work, Jeonghoon began tapping his pen on his side of the cubicle. Kei was beginning to get annoyed, he tried to keep cool but he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“YAH! KIM JEONGHOON! STOP MESSING WITH ME!” He shouted at him. Suddenly there was an awkward silence, he felt everyone’s gazes at him. He looked around and he saw everyone, including his boss, staring at him weirdly. When he glanced back down he saw Jeonghoon motioning him to sit back down. He bowed his head towards everyone first before he sat back down. *sigh* Why is my life like this?

“Psst!” Kei jerked his head up when he heard a ‘psst’ sound. He looked up but there was no one there. He slid his chair just at the entrance of his cubicle and stuck out his head. Outside he found Jeonghoon’s head stuck out from his cubicle.

“What do you want?!” He hissed at him. Jeonghoon motioned for him to come closer and he did.

“What exactly is going on with you? Did something happen?” He asked whispering it into his ears.

“I got dumped.” He finally admitted it, although he didn’t want to. But it was the truth and there’s no point of hiding it any longer, especially from him.

“YOSHIDA!” His boss called out from his office.

“Yes sir!” Kei stood up from his chair and hurried over to his boss’s office.

*knock, knock*

“You called me sir?” he asked as he gently opened his office door. His boss carried a sealed box and handed it over to him.

“Here” he said as he placed the box on his arms. Ugh! Its heavy “Take this to this address,” He took out a piece of post it paper and stuck it on his forehead.

“But shouldn’t the delivery people do this instead of me?” he mumbled to himself.

“Did you just mumble something?”

“No sir!” he said straightening up his posture.

“Make sure you deliver this to the person written on the post it. Oh! And hand this envelope to him. This is an important client and I don’t want you to mess this up like last time! Comprende!?” his boss asked raising his eyebrows at him.


“Now get out!”

Kei immediately headed out of the office room and towards his car. *sigh* Why is my life such a hell? And why does my boss hate me so much!? He placed the box at the backseat and he walked over the driver’s seat and drove towards the address.

“According to the address, the building should be right about he—” Kei rolled down his window and he glanced at the building. He looked up, up, up and up!? “WOW! That’s a tall building!” He said in amazement.

He parked his car in front of the building. When he got inside the building, he was more amazed by how large the space is inside. WOW! I wish I work here. He walked over to the reception desk and asked for the man written the post it. She phoned him and told me to go up to the 65th floor. He did as he was told.

When he arrived at the 65th floor he found a bunch of office people running around the room. One of them even bumped on him and didn’t even apologize. From across the room he saw the section chief. He immediately headed towards his office.

He knocked on his door lightly and he motioned for him to come in. “Ano…..” he said in a low tone. The guy looked up at him and gave him a what-do-you-want look. Kei showed him the package and he told him to leave it on the table. He did as he told him and he placed it on his table. Hmm, he’s office isn’t bad. It’s bigger than my boss’s office.

“Ano…..” Kei took out the envelope that his boss gave him from his pocket and showed it to him He told him to leave it on the table as well and he did.

“Ojamashimashita (I’ll be leaving now)” He said before leaving. He bowed and mouthed a thank you at him before he left.
When he was outside the building he took out his phone and checked his calls. There was a missed call from Jeonghoon and from Ruka.

“I’ll just call them later.” He said as he put his cell phone back in his pocket. When he tried to reach for his car keys he couldn’t find it.

“Geh! Where are my keys!? Ah! I probably dropped it in his office when I took out the envelope.” He hit his head lightly and he headed back towards the building. When he got to the 65th floor everyone was still running around like a chicken without a head. When he glanced at the chief manager’s office he saw another person inside. It was a woman, her back was facing him. The chief manager then gave her a peck on the lips. Oh! I guess that’s his girlfriend. Woah! She’s lucky she has a nice and rich boyfriend.

When the woman turned around his mouth dropped. OH MY GOD!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! he covered his mouth with one hand and the other was pointing at her. It was Naomi. This can’t be! He’s her boyfriend!?!? NOOOOO!!!!!!!

He walked hastily towards his office, but he halted. He watched her hugged the chief manager tightly around his waist. Then she kissed him passionately on the lips. He felt a crack on his already damaged heart. Tears began to stroll down his cheeks as he continued to watch them kiss. He ran towards the elevator and he began pressing the close button vigorously. When the door finally closed, he leaned against the wall and clutched his hands into a fist. Tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks and onto the cold elevator floor.

He replayed that scene with her kissing the chief manager passionately on the lips. Then he replayed the scene of the two of them in the park. Damn……and I thought I could finally move on. Why does my heart ache so much? Why am I so jealous of him? I want her back! He gripped his fist tighter.

“I WANT HER BACK!!!” He yelled out as he punched the wall as hard as he could with his fist.

Before he wasn’t sure if he could get her back, but this time he was confident. He knows what he has to do. So from that day onwards he vowed to get her back no matter what. I’ll get you back you’ll see. This time, I won’t mess it up. I won’t repeat the same mistakes I did. I was immature before, but now I’ve improved, I’m more mature. I’ll prove my love for you. I will show you my undying love..……….


A/N: I hope this chapter wasn't too crappy!

Stay tune for chapter 7!!! =D

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Re: Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

Post by Sachie on 8/27/2009, 6:07 pm

When Kei saw it was Naomi...my jaw dropped, seriously I didn't expect it at all.
great chapter...It was somehow funny.
keep updating~

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Re: Kotoba ni Dekinai.....

Post by Guest on 8/28/2009, 11:25 am

Aww..poor Kei...YES!! Get her back!!! ^^ Thanks for the update


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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Chapter 7 – Please forgive me…..

Post by yozoranomukou on 6/13/2010, 9:14 pm

Chapter 7 – Please forgive me…..

“Tadaima!” Kei said as he gently closed the door behind him.

“Yo! Okaeri!” Ruka welcomed him. She was watching a baseball game on tv again. Her team was winning this time. I plopped on the couch next to her and we both lifted up our feet on the coffee table.

“What’s the score?” He asked her.

“3 to 1, Swallow.” She told him.

Suddenly from upstairs they heard Takeu coming down.

“Hey! No feet on the coffee table!” he warned them, but the two just ignored him.

Takeru made a few rules in the share house. First, they have rotate their chores every week so that no one will complain that they got stuck with the chore they hate; second, clean up the house after every party; third, no violence unless necessary; and lastly, no feet on the coffee table.

Although the two of them appreciate the fact that he created these ‘rules’ for their sake, none of them really acknowledge it. The first three they understand, but the last one they just don’t feel necessary.

“You know Takeru, I think you should just cross out that last rule. We never followed it and we never will!” Ruka glared at Takeru who was also glaring back at her. It seems like their going to start another war. The last war they had ended with just bruises.

“I think we should cross out the third rule as well.” Kei mumbled to himself.

The two of them began pushing each other. And when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. When Takeru pushed Ruka, she accidentally spilled the cup of soda she was holding all onto their new flat screen tv.

“NOOOO!!!!” They both exclaimed.

“MY TV!!!!” Takeru yelled out.

“MY SODA!!!!” Ruka yelled out.

The two of them turned to each other both shocked at what just happened. The two of them began to tussle. And before it turned into a full out brawl, Kei decided to step in and stop the fight.

“ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!” Kei raised his voice at them. The two looked at him with surprised expressions. “If you two don’t stop your fight, more things will get ruined. So just drop it ok.” In this kind of situation he’s always the one that acts as the referee to stop their fights. It’s really getting on his nerves, especially when they fight about the smallest things ever.

*Daite, daite, daite senoria.....* Kei fished out his cell phone from his pocket and answered it. “Moshi moshi (hello)? Oh! Jeonghoon. What’s up?”

“Did you hear about the upcoming party?” Jeonghoon asked on the other line.

“What party?” Kei asked curiously. Both Ruka and Takeru jumped up from their seats and went closer to him, but he just shooed them away.

“Our company is hosting a party this coming Saturday and all of the other companies are invited.” He explained.

“Other companies? Is Wing Corp. invited too?” he asked him curiously.

“Yea. Ruantha Corp is coming too, and so are—”

“Who’s coming to represent Wing Corp.?”

“Umm—” Jeonghoon was about to tell him, but he suddenly stopped. “Wait, why are you so curious about who’s coming anyway?” He asked raising his eyebrow.

Kei didn’t know what to explain to him. It was weird for him to be asking all of these questions for no reason. Should he just tell him his true motive? Nah! “Umm, I just want to learn more about the other companies, that’s all.” Kei hoped that Jeonghoon would just leave it that. But he didn’t.

“You’re up to something aren’t you?” He said suspiciously. “There’s no way you’d be interested in the other companies considering you hate your job and all.” He said smirking on the other line.

Crap! He knew well enough that Jeonghoon would suspect something, and he was right. *sigh* “Forget it then.” When Kei was about to hang up on him, Jeonghoon called out to him.

“Hey, hey! I’m just kidding ok? Here are the names………”After Jeonghoon gave him the list of names, an evil smile formed at the corner of his mouth.


[Saturday] Kei's POV

I waited impatiently with Jeonghoon inside the ballroom. I paced back and forth, while Jeonghoon just watched me pathetically. “Kei, calm down. They’ll be here soon.” He said reassuringly. I took deep a breath to calm myself down.

Finally after what seemed like forever, Jeonghoon finally spotted them at the entrance. “Oh they’re here” he announced. I looked over to the entrance and soon enough I spotted them. There she is, I said inside his mind. Mr. Ahn, our boss, began walking towards them. Jeonghoon and I followed from behind.

When we reached the couple, our eyes met. I smiled at her but she just stared at me with a surprised face. After Mr. Ahn finished welcoming the two guests he excused himself and proceeded to welcome the other guests.

Koji lifted his hand for a handshake. “We meet again.” He said as I took his hand and shook it. “Yea, what a coincidence.” I said to him. Naomi just stood quietly at the side still shocked to see me. “Erm, I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name during our last meeting.” He said.

“My name is Kei. Yoshida Kei.” I introduced myself as I continued to shake his hand. Jeonghoon nudged me at the side. “What?” I hissed at him. “Let go of his hand.” Jeonghoon whispered back. When I realized that I was shaking his hand for too long I immediately let go of his hand and apologized. I turned towards Naomi and smiled. “Shizuka-san we meet again as well.” I said raising my hand towards her for a handshake. “Oh.” Was all she could utter. She took my hand and shook it gently. I stared at her intently with passion and longing. She stared back at me with guilt and discomfort in her eyes. Koji and Jeonghoon watched curiously at the side as the two of us shook each others hands.

“Do you two know each other?” Koji asked breaking the moment between me and Naomi. “ Yes we do.” I answered still shaking her hand. When Naomi realized what she was doing, she immediately let go my hand and grabbed onto Koji’s arm. I felt a small twitch in my heart as I watched Naomi hold on to Koji’s arm. “Ah, I see.” Koji replied. “Well, then. It was nice meeting you again Mr. Yoshida.” He said nodding at me and Jeonghoon. I watched pathetically as they walked away.


I watched the two lovebirds from the corner of the room as they danced intimately in the middle of the dance floor. I pouted when Koji pulled Naomi closer to his body and Naomi wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

“Wow, you look pathetic.” Jeonghoon commented. I flashed him with one of my death glares. “What? You really do look pathetic. Why don’t you ask her to dance instead of moping around by yourself?” I ignored him. But he was right. I do look pathetic. If I’m going to get her back I have to be assertive. I need to make her fall in love with me again.

When the song finished Koji whispered something to Naomi and he left. I watched Naomi make her way towards the veranda. I followed her out. Outside, I saw her leaning on the railing of the veranda. I casually walked over to where she was and leaned on the railing along with her. She gave me a surprised look, but I just stared ahead. “What are you doing here?” She asked. “Oh nothing. I’m just getting some fresh air. It’s too drafty inside.” I said giving her a smile. I laughed when I saw her cheeks turn pink. “Hey don’t laugh.” She said pouting and giving me a playful punch on the arm.

“You’re blushing!” I said pointing at her cheeks. She turned her head away to the other side so that I can’t see her pink cheeks. “Hey, don’t try to hide it! Let me see it.” I began poking her cheeks but she resisted. “Don’t do that! It tickles!” She said between giggles. “I’m not going to stop until you let me see your face.” She tried to cover head face with her hands but I pulled them away. “Hey! Don’t cover your face!” I said while gently pulling her hands away from her face and turning her body so that she is now facing me. We were laughing hysterically, and we didn’t even notice how close our faces were now. Before we knew it we were drowned in each others eyes. My heart was beating fast and I could feel my head moving closer and closer to her face. I barely touched her lips when she suddenly pushed me away.

“What are you doing?” She asked me shocked at what I just did. I stuttered to come up with an explanation. Honestly I didn’t know what I was doing myself. “I—I don’t know.” I said. “I’m sorry but I can’t do this.” She said before running back into the ballroom. Without thinking, I ran after her. I saw her running towards the other side of the room and over to the exit. I dodged the people blocking my way as I ran towards the exit. When I got outside I saw her turn right towards the parking lot. I ran as fast as I could to catch up to her. I got closer and closer to her. My finger tips were only three inches away from her arm. I stretched my arm even further. Finally I grabbed hold of her arm. I swung her back to my arms and into a tight hug. She began hitting my chest and pleading me to let her go, but I didn’t. I just hold on to her.

“Let go!” She cried out. I shook my head vigorously. I could feel my chest become wet from her tears. “Please! Let me go!” She pleaded again. I shook my head again. “No!” I exclaimed. “I’ll never let you go again! I need you by my side. Please Naomi.” I pleaded her. Tears were beginning to form in my eyes, but I held it in. “I’m sorry for leaving you. What I did was a mistake. Please forgive me. I love you Naomi.” I said to her. She stopped hitting my chest. She just stood still and I felt her grab onto my jacket. I hold on to her even tighter as her sobs became louder. Soon, the tears that I tried to hold in began falling down my cheeks. I’m really sorry Naomi. Please forgive me…….


A/N: Hey guys, I’m really sorry for the late update. I’ve gotten real busy with school and I barely had time to write anymore. I know my excuse might sound lame, but it’s the truth. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter though. Your comments are very much appreciated, so please leave a comment. Thank you!

Stay tune for chapter 8!!! =D

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Kotoba ni Dekinai..... Empty Chapter 8 – The decision

Post by yozoranomukou on 6/26/2010, 9:36 pm

Chapter 8 – The decision

- thoughts


Kei’s POV

After she had calmed down, I slowly pulled away from her with my hands still holding onto her shoulders. “Naomi,” I said almost in whisper. She didn’t look at me. Instead she kept her head down. I lifted her chin up so that she is now looking at me. Her eyes were red and glassy and her cheeks were flushed from her sobbing. I took both my thumb and I wiped away the remnant of her tears on her cheeks. “Don’t cry anymore.” I said with a gentle smile. “I won’t leave you alone ever again.” I said reassuringly. Her eyes were becoming watery again. “Hey, I told you not to cry anymore.” I said while laughing. With that she finally cracked a smile. “See. You look more beautiful smiling than crying.” I caressed her pink cheeks with my thumb. She closed her eyes and touched my hand that was caressing her cheeks and said in a soft tone, “Don’t ever let go of me ever again.” She took the back of my hand and gave it a warm kiss. “I missed you so much.” She said with so much longing. I gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and said in gentle tone, “I missed you too.” She rested her head on my chest, while I caressed her soft hair.

No one’s POV

Inside Jeonghoon was speaking to some of the guests when he suddenly saw Koji’s girlfriend burst in from the veranda. A couple of seconds later, he saw Kei run in after her. What’s going on? He wondered. He excused himself from the guests and followed after them. When he reached the outside all he saw were two men having a smoke. He scratched the back of his head and wondered where they went. He walked down the steps and turned right towards the parking lot. He was about to turn when he saw Kei hugging someone. He squinted his eyes to get a better view of who he was hugging. To his surprise it was Naomi. Now I’m really confuse. Why in the world are they hugging? Isn’t she Koji’s girlfriend? He moved closer towards them and hid behind a car. He was eavesdropping on their conversation.

“…..please forgive me. I love you Naomi….” He heard Kei said in such passion. Jeonghoon’s eyes widen in shock. He peeked through the rims of the car and saw Naomi’s face buried in Kei’s chest. He could hear her sobbing really loud. What in the world is going on? His thoughts were disrupted when he heard them laughing softly.

“…..don’t ever let go of me ever again…..I missed you so much…..” He heard Naomi say. “I missed you too.” He heard Kei said. He peeked again from behind the car and he saw Kei planting a kiss on Naomi’s forehead. He was in total shock. Are they having an a affair ?? He shook his head vigorously, shaking away that thought. Oh my god. I’ve got to get away from here. He got up and silently left. On his way up the steps he accidentally bumped on to someone. He looked up and to his surprise he sees Koji.

“Oh, forgive me.” Koji apologized. Jeonghoon’s jaw dropped when he saw him. “Are you alright?” Koji asked him nervously. “I—I---umm—” He stuttered to come up with an answer. “By any chance, have you seen the lady I was with this evening?” Jeonghoon’s forehead began to sweat. He wiped them away with the sleeve of his jacket. Koji grew more worried at the way he was acting. “Are you sure you’re al---” Jeonghoon interrupted him and said, “Erm….I think I saw her outside at the veranda.” He lied. “Oh…..now that I think of it I haven’t checked there yet. Thank you.” Koji said with a smile. Jeonghoon awkwardly smiled back. He watched as Koji disappeared into the ballroom.

He let out a sigh of relief. Just as he thought he could finally be relaxed someone tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around he saw Kei grinning happily at him. He looked behind Kei and he found no one behind him. He wondered where Naomi went. “What’s wrong?” Kei asked curiously. Jeonghoon shook his. “Come on lets go inside.” Kei said as he led him inside the ballroom. On the other side of the room he saw Koji still searching for Naomi. Then suddenly she appeared right behind him. She tapped Koji on the shoulder just like what Kei did to him. Naomi smiled cheerfully at Koji. Weren’t she was just crying a moment agao? He wondered. Kei and jeonghoon walked over to where the couple was. Before they could reach them, Koji took out a ring and handed it to Naomi.

“Oh, you found it.” Naomi said unenthusiastically. He slid the ring into Naomi’s ring finger and smiled. Jeonghoon turned to see Kei’s reaction. He saw indifference in his expression but there was a hint of disappointment in his eyes. “Congratulations.” Kei suddenly blurted out. The two couple turned their heads towards his direction. “Oh, why thank you.” Koji said smiling at him. Naomi just nodded and gave him a weak smile.

For the rest of the evening, Naomi and Kei kept their distance from each other. They didn’t talk nor did they make eye contact with each other. It was like nothing happened between them.

On the way home, Kei sat silently on the passenger seat staring blankly outside the window while Jeonghoon drove him home. Jeonghoon was still contemplating what happened that night; the hugging, the kissing and the awkwardness between them. He glanced over the passenger seat and saw Kei still staring outside.

Finally, Jeonghoon decided to finally speak up. “Kei,” He started out. Kei turned his attention to him. “What’s your relation with that girl?” he asked him. Kei just stared at him like he doesn’t know what he was talking about. “What girl?” he asked back.

“That Naomi girl.” Jeonghoon replied back.

“We’re just friends.” Kei answered coolly. Jeonghoon knew there was something more to their relationship than just friends. “You’re lying.” He said accusingly. Kei raised his eyebrow at him suspiciously. “If you two were just friends, then….” Jeonghoon trailed off. He was afraid of accusing him of committing adultery when he has not proof to present. For all he know they could just be a close friend.

Kei waited attentively for what he had to say next. “Then what?” He asked impatiently. “then........what I’m trying to say is, no friends would hug intimately like that nor will they kiss each others forehead.” He released a sigh of relief after being able to finally let it out. He glanced at him to see his reaction. He didn’t seemed surprise. “What are you talking about?” he asked like he has no clue what he’s talking about. Jeonghoon stared at him wide eyed. He couldn’t believe he just denied it. “Don’t lie to me. You know what I’m talking about.” He said firmly. “Besides……I saw it with my own two eyes.” he added. Kei’s eyes slightly widen in surprise, but Jeonghoon didn’t notice it.

“If you really don’t want to tell me, then fine. I just hope you don’t get yourself in too deep.” He advised him. Kei remained silent. He gazed out the window thinking about the events that occurred that night.

[Flashback] Kei’s POV

“I missed you too.” I caressed her hair. She gently pulled away from our hug. “What’s wrong?” I asked her. She looked at me with worried eyes. “I’m really sorry Kei,” she started out. “I can’t be with you.” I looked at her with confusion. “What are you talking about?” I asked her. “Even though part of me is still in love with you, the other part of me also has feelings for Koji. I just can’t just disregard everything Koji had done for me. I’m sorry, but I can’t leave him.” I stood there speechless. After what just happened I was confident that she’d come running back to me. I didn’t expect this at all.

I don’t understand why she’s doing this. She loves me and I love her. Isn’t that a perfect reason why we should both be together? We should be celebrating right now not mourning. But this……I don’t understand this at all.

I looked up at her when I felt her touch my hand. Although she was looking at me with sincerity, all I could see was pity. I looked away from her. I don’t want to see those pitiful eyes. I don’t want her to feel sorry for me. I don’t want her to make me look more like a fool than I already am. I feel stupid enough.

“Kei,” I didn’t respond. “Kei,” I kept my head down. I heard her call my name a few more times, but I ignored her. My legs began retreating and I could feel my whole body turn itself around. I walked away. I didn’t dare look back. I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t look at those eyes anymore.

[End of flashback] No one’s POV

Jeonghoon glanced at Kei. He could tell he was upset. Everything back there was just an act. He wasn’t happy at all. This is what he really felt. Damn. He’s already in way too deep. He thought shaking his said.


A/N: Hi! I hope you enjoyed the new update! In the next chapter I will expose some of Ruka’s secrets. Just like how she had a secret in last friends. But it’s not going to be the same secret. I’m gonna change it up a little bit. And of course there’s gonna be more Kei x Naomi in the next chapter!

So stay tune for chapter 9!!! =D

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